Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon, nor any of the other
television shows, films, comic books or cartoons that you see
represented here. Be aware that absolutely no offence is intended
towards... uh... anyone. /:)
Author's notes: This fic is part six of my current story arc. To
read all that has gone before, check out:
Prologue - "Where There's a Willis, There's a Way!"
Part 1 - "To Boldly Go Where No Mon Has Gone Before!"
Part 2 - "Turbo Ninja Zeo Rangers Lost in a Galaxy in
Time!"
Part 3 - "The Digi-Awards 2001"
Part 4 - "TRUKK NOT MUNKY, DOOD!"
Part 5 - "Sit On It!"
At the end of "Sit On It!" our hapless heroes (and
villains) were flung to the four corners of the multiverse when
the studio collapsed out from under them between dimensions. Now,
let's catch up with everyone's favourite dograbbit and
computer...
- - -
"HODGE PODGE"
"Take Me To Another World," Part Six
By Chris McFeely
With a tip of the hat to just about anyone who ever suggested an
idea for a crossover in this series, because a lot of them are in
here. ;)
- - -
Somewhere in the purple void...
Terriermon: WAAAAARGGH! Hi folks! Sorry I can't give you my full
attention, but that's just cause I'm tumbling out of control
through interdimensional space with a homicidal computer and my
two frozen-together-space/time-engine partners! AAAAIIEEE!!
Charlene: Cease - your - squealing - rabbit.
Terriermon: I'm a dog. YAAAAAAAGGH!
Charlene: Whatever. By - my - calculations - we - should - be -
landing - in - a - nearby - reality - very - soon.
Terriermon: Remember how correct your calculations were LAST
time?
*VWORP*
*THUNK!*
Terriermon finds himself sitting on top of Willis and Henry, and
rubs his head. Charlene lies on her side on the ground.
Charlene: Pick - me - up! Pick - me - up!
Terriermon hops down and puts Charlene right side up.
Terriermon: So... where are we?
Terriermon looks around, and realises that they've landed in the
garden of a Big Blue House. The door of the house opens.
Bear: Oh! It's you!
Terriermon: ...do I know you?
Bear: I've been waiting for you to get here!
Charlene: Uh-huh...
Bear: *pauses and sniffs Charlene*
Charlene: Watch - the - nose - buster.
Bear: Say, were you just flying uncontrollably through
interdimensional space? 'Cause you smell all interdimensional!
Terriermon: I'm freakin' out over here.
Bear: Or maybe you smell this good all the time.
Charlene: Flattery - will - get - you - everywhere.
Two purple otters appear.
Pip & Pop: WE LOVE INTERDIMENSIONAL TRAVELLERS!
- - -
A little later, inside of the Big Blue House...
Terriermon eats a plate of cooked and buttered string beans as
Charlene swats at Tutter with her cables.
Terriermon: So, if we wound up in this reality, then everyone
else must've wound up in some other world too, wouldn't you say?
Charlene: Captain - Exposition - strikes - again.
Terriermon: Well, we should try and get everyone together again!
Charlene: ...why?
Terriermon: Because it would the right thing to do.
Charlene: ...
Terriermon: It's what Izzy would want?
Charlene: ...
Terriermon: You'll be hailed as a goddess for saving everyone?
Charlene: Let's - rock.
Terriermon: Can we go now?
Charlene: Why - the - hurry?
Terriermon: 'Cause this monkey thing won't stop pinching me.
Pan over to show TreeLo, attached to Terriermon's back, grooming
him and eating bugs.
TreeLo: HOOOBALOOBLE!
Charlene: ...yes. Let's - go - now.
Terriermon picks up Charlene and they go back out to the front
yard, where Charlene hooks up to Willis and Henry again. The moon
looks down at them.
Bear & Luna: *singing* Goodbye, goodbye, good friends
goodbye...
Terriermon: THE MOON'S GOT A FACE! AAAAAHH!!
Charlene: ACK!! LET'S - GET - OUTTA - THIS - FREAK-HOLE!!
*VWORP!*
Pip & Pop: WE LOVE VWORPING!
- - -
Somewhere else...
BlackWarGreymon groans and gets up from where he fell, and
realises he's in a school playground.
BlackWarGreymon: Ah, surrounded by the innocence of youth...
though I never knew youth, for I was born into evil...
BlackWarGreymon attempts to go down the slide, but it crumples
under his weight.
BlackWarGreymon: *sigh* Crushed, like so many dreams and souls.
He wanders over towards the school building, and hears the faint
sound of children singing. He presses his nose up against the
window, and sees about a half-dozen children of ages varying from
too-young-to-know-what's-going-on to
too-old-to-be-doing-this-crap dancing around a large purple
dinosaur.
One of the children notices BlackWarGreymon at the window, and
waves.
BlackWarGreymon: *is taken aback, but waves in return* H...hi....
Child: Hey, look! Another big talking dinosaur! Is he your
friend, Barney?
Barney: Golly gee willikers, I don't know him, but everyone is my
friend! Come on in, new friend!
BlackWarGreymon, slightly dazed, walks through the door, into the
classroom.
BlackWarGreymon: He...he...hello everyone. My name is...
Barney: Gosh-oh-gumdrops, your name isn't important, new friend!
Come on, we're about to play with...
*PING!*
All children: ...THE BARNEY BAG!
The children cluster around the Barney Bag, and begin pulling all
manner of things out of it. BlackWarGreymon peers inside.
BlackWarGreymon: It goes on forever... never ending... and so it
can never be full... never full, like my heart... never full,
like my sou - Ooh, glitter!
- - -
Meanwhile, in the Dark Ocean...
...
...
...
...
...
- - -
Makuramon finds himself in a dark room, and stumbles around.
Makuramon: Where is everyone?
Suddenly, two beams of bright light cut through the room, and
Makuramon squints into them, seeing two humans holding really
bright torches.
Mulder: Look at it, Scully... the bulbous head, the shrimpy body,
the beady little eyes... it's the alien/human hybrid we've been
searching for!
Scully: Mulder, I'm sure there's a rational explanation. It's
obviously some kind of little monkey man.
Mulder: It's an alien, Scully! Can't you see?
Scully: Mulder, you blamed aliens when you ran out of coffee
creamer.
Mulder: Well, *I* didn't use it!
Scully: Aliens used your coffee creamer, huh?
Mulder: It's a conspiracy! Without my coffee, I can't function
properly! They're trying to shut us down, Scully!! CAN'T YOU SEE
THAT?!
Mulder shakes Scully, then turns back to Makuramon... but he
ain't there no more.
Mulder: Where's your rational explanation now, Scully?
Scully: Obviously an INVISIBLE little monkey man.
- - -
Makuramon: Thanks for the save!
Charlene: Don't - mention - it.
Terriermon: Just hold on tight! Without a studio to hold us
anymore, we gotta all cling together!
The group soars off through purple space, with Terriermon holding
onto Charlene, and Makuramon gripping his ears.
Charlene: Next - signature - located...
- - -
Skeletor: FORWARD!! THE SECRETS OF CASTLE GREYSKULL WILL BE
MINE!!
He-Man: Fight on, Eternians! Castle Greyskull must never fall to
Skeletor!
*VWORP!*
The Dark Masters and Myotismon materialise in the middle of the
battlefield.
Piedmon: Trippy.
Myotismon: So, where are we...?
Everyone looks around...
...and then proceed to scream like little fairies as they see the
two massive armies charging towards each other, with them stuck
right between.
The Eternians regard the Digimon.
He-Man: Skeletor has added new monstrosities to his forces! They
must fall!
Skeletor's forces do the same.
Beast Man: Hey, are they on our side?
Evil Lyn: *shrugs*
He-Man aims a punch at Piedmon, who dodges.
Piedmon: My, my... so toned, so tanned.
Puppetmon cackles like a madman and chases Orko around, waving
his hammer in the air.
MetalSeadramon and Mecha-Neck get tangled up in each other, while
Myotismon makes disturbing advances on Ram-Man and Fisto.
Man-At-Arms: Die, abomination!
Man-At-Arms jumps on Machinedramon's head, and starts pounding on
him.
He-Man: Duncan, get down from there! You can't do anything worth
shit! You'll die!
...
All Eternians: STAY UP THERE!
Machinedramon: Now. Prepare. To. Feel. My. Wrath. Mua. Ha. Haa.
Man-At-Arms: Neverrrr! *thunk*
Machinedramon groans and falls to bits.
Machinedramon: Who. Didn't. See. That. Coming?
He-Man: Duncan, I'm impressed! That's the first thing you've ever
done right!
Man-At-Arms: *grins*
He-Man: We're never going to hear the end of this now...
Man-At-Arms: Hey, remember the time I smashed the big robot
monster?
He-Man: *sigh*
- - -
* CRACK!*
Rika: Take THAT!
Cloud: Yeow!!
*BAM!*
Rika: And THAT!
Cloud: Ow!
*WHACK!*
Cloud: Stop iiit! *cries* It's my turn to attack! You're supposed
to stand still and let me hit yooouu!!
Rika: AND THIS!!
*CRASH!*
Takato, Guilmon and Renamon just sit and watch. Guilmon eats some
bread.
Guilmon: This bread increase my Max HP +13 and give me defence
against all magic attacks.
Takato and Renamon look oddly at him.
*SMASH!*
Cloud: MP too low to cast spell...!
*WHACK!*
RIKA: WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT MY MOTHER?!
- - -
*VWORP!*
Charlene, Terriermon and Makuramon find themselves in a coffee
house. Tai, Sora, Matt and their Digimon are sitting on a couch
with six other people. Izzy and Mimi are also there.
Sora: So, what do you think?
Chandler: Could you guys BE in a bigger love triangle?
Sora: ...that doesn't help.
Charlene, Terriermon and Makuramon look on, rather bemused, as
Tai and Joey have a contest to see who can withstand the most
headbutts from the other, and Monica puts a coaster under Matt's
feet. Mimi and Rachel make plans to go shopping and Phoebe is
writing a song about big eyes.
Ross: So you... say your computer... is alive...?
Izzy: *nods* Someday, I hope to put my brain into a computer...
Ross: ...and live forever as a machine.
Izzy: Exactly.
Charlene: HEY - GEEKAZOID!!
Izzy: I know that biting, offensive tone... CHARLENE!
Izzy turns in his seat and sees Charlene and co.
Charlene: Yeah - yeah - just - keep - it - in - your - pants.
C'mon - we're - getting - out - of - here.
Joey: 'ey, how you doin'?
Charlene: *giggle*
Tai: Just wait a sec, Chakakahn, I know I can take at LEAST five
more of this guy's weak-ass headbutts...
Charlene: MY - NAME - IS - CHARLEEEEENE!!!!!
*ZZZZARRRK!!*
The lights in the coffee bar dim as Charlene fricassees the
Friends, who each belch out smoke clouds and topple over.
Charlene: NOW - GET - IN - LINE - MAGGOTS! WE'RE - MOVIN' - OUT!!
Tai: *gulp* Yes, ma'am.
The five kids line up, and everyone holds hands. Charlene
activates Henry and Willis again.
*VWORP!*
Tai: Y'know, I've been wondering... what do you suppose they're
doing without us back in our world?
- - -
CEO Vader, a producer, a director and some other guys stand
behind the glass of a recording studio, looking in.
CEO Vader: This new show had better be good... I wanted Angela
Anaconda, but oh, NOOO, you have a BETTER idea.
Producer Vinnie: Don't sweat it, boss, this is gonna be wicked
cool. We're ready to go live.
Director Mike: *speaks into microphone* Aaaand... ACTION!
Announcer: Attention viewers - do you feel that there's a lot of
evil in your life? Do you look for a way to be freed of this
satanic hindrance? Well, get down on your knees and thanks the
Lord - it's time for Brother Owl's Easy-Listenin' Preachin' Hour!
"Jesus is Just All Right With Me" plays as Brother Owl,
wearing a white suit jacket, flutters down from the studio
rafters and settles on a perch in front of a live audience.
(Attention those with the bad memories or who didn't see the
episode... Brother Owl is the talking owl from the Tamers ep,
"Back to Nature, Back to Battle," with Sinduramon)
Brother Owl: Good day-uh to you all-ah! Ah'm here to cleanse you
of your SIIINS-AH! Shout it out for me now-ah!
Audience: HALLELUJAH!
Brother Owl: The power of Christ compels you... to send $200
dollars to the following address!
An address flashes up on the screen.
Brother Owl: Do we have-ah any sinnahs in the audience today-uh?
Random person #1: I slept with my housekeeper!
Random person #2: I sacrificed my cat to the mighty Ra!
Random person #3: I TEAR THE TAGS OFF OF PILLOWS!!
Brother Owl: Mah children-ah, you will all be healed-ah of yo'
devastatin' afflictions! Just raise your arms-ah to the sky, and
cry out in the name of the Lord-ah!
Random people: PRAISE THE LORD!
Brother Owl flies down, and smacks all three of them about the
face several times, then pokes them in the eyes.
Brother Owl: Ah proclaim thee HEALED-AH!!
Audience: HALLELUJAH!
Brother Owl: *breathes heavily* Talkin' 'bout... can't go on,
can't go on... need somebody help me... we're going to take a
short break, folks, but we'll be right back!!
Announcer: Have a sin to confess? Call 1-800-DAY-UH-VA now.
Fade to black as commercials roll.
Producer Vinnie: What'cha think, V?
CEO Vader: You're SO going to hell for this.
- - -
Meanwhile, in the Dark Ocean...
...
...
...
...
...
...
- - -
*VWORP!*
Daemon: Woah, honky, you can't BUY that kinda trip.
SkullSatamon: Where we at, Big D?
MarineDevimon: Looks like a whacked-out place, man...
LadyDevimon walks over to a street sign and looks up at it.
LadyDevimon: What kind of a name is "Sesame Street"?
A small, red monster bounds down the street, and leaps into
Daemon's arms.
Elmo: I'm Elmo! Tickle me!
Daemon: Don't you be propositionin' me like that, boy.
Daemon drops Elmo on his head.
MarineDevimon backs up to look around, and bumps into Snuffy the
Snuffleupagus.
MarineDevimon: AIIEE!! It's lookin' at me funny!
MarineDevimon bumps into SkullSatamon, who is knocked into a
bunch of garbage cans. Oscar the Grouch pops out of one.
Oscar: HEY, WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING, DICKFACE!!
SkullSatamon rubs his head and looks up to see Bert and Ernie
looking out of their window at the commotion.
SkullSatamon: Boss, check out the yellow one.
Daemon: It's a well-known fact that the unibrow is a universal
symbol of evil. Boys, I think I have a notion that'll cause some
commotion...
SkullSatamon and MarineDevimon: WESTSIDE!
LadyDevimon rolls her eyes.
- - -
An attractive young female mouse is tied to some train tracks, as
an evil looking dog creature cackles and twiddles his moustache.
A train thunders towards her.
Attractive Young Mouse: Help! Help! Save me, Mighty Mouse!
Voice (v/o): Here I come to say the daaaay!!
Attractive Young Mouse: Mighty Mouse!
Voice (v/o): Not quite, citizen!
Ryo bounds in, and unties the mouse.
Ryo: Strike a pose!
Ryo puts his hands on his hips as a fanfare plays, and
Cyberdramon quietly eats the dog thing.
*VWORP!*
Charlene warps in, with everyone in tow. She's since rounded up
the Tamers and a couple more Devas. Rika grabs Ryo's ear.
Ryo: What ho, fair maiden! You seek an audience with the
legendary Tamer?
Rika: Shut your yap, skirt-boy. And YOU! *to Cyberdramon* Get
over here!
*VWORP!*
- - -
Derek, the Australian DigiDestined boy, sits on a beach.
Derek: Now, this is a right bonzer world...
A small kangaroo bounces over to Derek.
Derek: G'day, Skippy!
Chris (v/o, other side of the fourth wall): Hold it right there.
Skippy WAS going be used in this fic, but then it turned out that
a lot of Americans have never actually seen his show.
Skippy: *clicking noises*
Chris: Yeah, I know you're the star of an old, sub-par Australian
TV show, but the audience doesn't.
Skippy: *hops off*
Derek: Fair dinkum. So, who we using instead?
Flipper splashes about in the water.
Derek: Oh, now, that's original...
Flipper: *clicking noises*
Derek: What's that, boy? You're hungry? You want to play? Uncle
Lyle broke his leg and is trapped in the old barn, and it caught
on fire and fell down a mineshaft?
Flipper: *clicking noises*
Derek: You're hungry.
Derek throws another shrimp on the barbie, by crikey.
- - -
In an apartment...
Jerry Seinfeld: Your eyes are so big, and yet, you're still able
to go out in the daylight. What's the deal... with that?
Joe: Extra-thick corneas.
Yolei: We actually can't see more than three feet in front of us,
without our glasses.
In the background, Davis and Ken walk smack into each other.
Over on the couch...
Kari: So you and he used to date?
Elaine: Yup.
Kari: But you're still friends now?
Elaine: Yup.
Kari: It didn't ruin your friendship?
Elaine: Nope.
Kari: *thinking* Hmmm...
Kari looks over at T.K.
George: Do you think I'm going bald?
T.K. takes a close look at George's head.
T.K.: I'd recommend a strong herbal rinse.
Kari: *thinking* Maybe not...
The door bursts open, and Indramon gallops in, with Kramer on his
back.
Kramer: Giddyup.
Indramon: Get it off, GET IT OFF, IN THE NAME OF GOD, GET IT
OFF!!
Kramer: Hey, Jerry, can I borrow some of your big-eyed freaks?
Jerry: And y'know, what IS a freak? Webster's defines a
"freak" as: A thing or occurrence that is markedly
unusual or irregular, an abnormally formed organism, an eccentric
or nonconformist person, or an enthusiast. What's the deal...
with that?
- - -
Censor Joe catches a football as it flies towards a vase.
Censor Joe: What has your mom told you kids about playing ball in
the house?
Gregg Brady: Gee whiz! Thanks, Uncle Joe!
Censor Joe leans back to Bob and Steve.
Censor Joe: Hee... he called me "uncle."
Bobby Brady: Can we have our ball back, Uncle Joe?
Censor Joe: If you kids take it outside, like your mom says!
Peter Brady: Sure, Uncle Joe!
Joe gives them back their ball, and they run outside.
Censor Joe: It's paradise.
Censor Bob: Welcomed into the home of complete strangers...
Censor Steve: ...without a single thing wrong!
Censor Bob: This world needs no censoring!
Censor Joe: I think I could live here forever...
*VWORP!*
Charlene: Let's - go - lardbuckets - keep - it - moving - right -
this - way...
*VWORP!*
Censor Joe: Ah, nuts.
- - -
Piedmon: TRUMP SWORD!
Myotismon: GRISLY WING!
MetalSeadramon: RIVER OF POWER!
Puppetmon: PUPPET PUMMEL!
Machinedramon's Head: GIGA... oh. Wait. Never. Mind.
KER-BLAMMAROONIE!! He-Man is blasted clean through the door of
Castle Greyskull, which shatters into a million bits. Skeletor
clambers over his body.
Skeletor: Finally! After so long, the secrets of Castle Greyskull
are MIIIIINE!!
Piedmon: Well, the least he could have done is said "thank
you."
Myotismon: How rude.
Skeletor picks his way through the rubble, and sees a big door
marked "SECRETS."
Skeletor: Ultimate power is within my grasp! Nyahahahaaa!!
Piedmon and Myotismon follow behind him, as MetalSeadramon and
Puppetmon play racket ball with Beast Man.
Literally, WITH him.
Skeletor blasts the door open, and leaps inside. He looks
around... and discovers that the fabled secrets of Castle
Greyskull consist of the Sorceress's bottle cap collection, and a
bunch of empty wooden boxes.
Skeletor: Oh, dear God. I've wasted my life.
Piedmon: Tough break.
Myotismon: What can ya do, eh?
*VWORP!*
Piedmon: What was that?
Puppetmon: *calls in from outside* Hey gu-uys! We're goin'!
Piedmon and Myotismon saunter out of the castle. Skeletor
staggers behind them.
Myotismon: So, what you think you'll do now?
Skeletor: I think I'll become a banker, like mother wanted...
Charlene: What - did - you - guys - DO?
Piedmon: Do you really want me to answer that?
Charlene looks at He-Man, who is lying on his stomach on the
ground, groaning.
...
Charlene: No. No - I - do - not. Grab - something - and - let's -
go.
Piedmon: Hold on, hold on...
Piedmon, Puppetmon and Myotismon gather up Machinedramon's parts.
Machinedramon's Head: I'm. Getting. Mighty. Sick. Of. This. You.
Know.
*VWORP!*
- - -
Meanwhile, in the Dark Ocean...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
- - -
Down on Zuckerman's farm, in a pigsty, where a spider-web is
strung across the doorframe, with the word "Radiant"
written into it, Mummymon sits on the fence, and talks with the
pig.
Mummymon: Don't you ever feel that you're not getting back as
much love as you're giving?
Wilbur: Gosh, no. Charlotte's my friend, and I love her, and she
loves me. I hope that someday, everyone can have a friend that
loves them as much as I love Charlotte, who they'll love as much
back in return.
Mummymon: ...
Wilbur: ...
Mummymon: ...she dies in the end, you know.
Inside the sty itself, Arukenimon sits on a pile of hay, talking
with a little grey spider...
Charlotte: ...a friend that loves them as much as I love Wilbur,
who they'll love as much back in return.
Arukenimon: Yeah, but don't you ever just get the urge to...
y'know, bite his head off and suck out his brains?
Charlotte: Can't say as I do.
Arukenimon: Then you really can't understand where I'm coming
from, can you?
- - -
*VWORP!*
Suzie, Chatsuramon and Lopmon look around.
Suzie: Whewe awe we?
Lopmon: Beats the snot out of me, kid...
Suzie: Chocowate bunny!
Suzie grabs Lopmon and squeezes him tight.
Lopmon: Gaack... can't... br... breathe...
Chatsuramon: Oh, yeah, I forgot to mention... you've got to hang
around with this kid all the time now, as well.
Suzie: Big bwue doggie!
Chatsuramon: Awp--!
Suzie grabs Chatsuramon and pulls him into the hug.
Chatsuramon: *choking noises* Grip... is... like... steel!!
In the background, a small herd of My Little Ponies trot past.
Suzie: Colour horsies!
Suzie drops Lopmon and Chatsuramon, and chases after the Ponies,
who scatter in terror.
Lopmon: *gasps for breath* All the time, you say...?
Chatsuramon: *wheezes* That, or lose the Sovereign's dental plan.
Lopmon: Rats...
- - -
*VWORP!*
Jerry: What kind of a sound effect is "vworp," anyway?
Sounds like a frog swallowing a football. And speaking of
football... what's the deal... with that?
Charlene: Boy.... this - is - getting - to - be - a - strain...
some - of - you - guys - could - stand - to - lose - a - few -
pounds...
Mimi bursts into tears in the background.
Charlene: C'mon - c'mon - hurry - it - up... grab - on...
Davis: Aw, but...!
Charlene's screen sparks.
Davis: Ah, geez, okay, okay...
The kids and their Digimon and Indramon all clutch onto the group
as best they can.
*VWORP!*
Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer stand around.
Jerry: Okay, so, the person who can go the longest without
telling anyone about this, so we don't get dragged off to the
nuthouse, wins the contest. What's the deal... with that?
- - -
Apocalymon: It's all really just so meaningless, when you think
about it, isn't it? Life, death, love... really, what does it all
mean? Nothing, that's what. You go out of this world the same way
you come in - kicking and screaming and covered in gook - and it
all just amounts to nothing in the grand scheme of things. We're
just the splattered bugs on the windshield of reality. We serve
no purpose. Nothing we do will ever matter.
Spawn: Shut up, SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!
Apocalymon: Can I borrow your cape some time?
- - -
Big Bird: THIS PROGRAMME HAS BEEN BROUGHT TO YOU BY THE LETTERS F
AND U, MUTHAFUGGA!!
Big Bird ties a bandana around his head, and opens fire on Telly
monster with a set of twin Uzis.
Daemon: *speaks into a radio* The gang war's comin' along nicely,
boys... how you doing?
Somewhere else...
SkullSatamon: *into radio* Drug trafficking is up by 400%. We had
to bake it into cookies and stuff, though...
Daemon (v/o, on radio): Huh? Why?
Cookie Monster: COOKIE!! COOKIECOOKIECOOKIEEE!!!!
Cookie Monster shovels down a load of SkullSatamon's
"special" cookies, and then collapses behind a
trashcan.
Daemon (v/o): How about you, MD?
Somewhere ELSE...
MarineDevimon's radio sits on the ground and crackles.
Daemon (v/o): MD?
A blue hand picks up the radio.
Grover: HELL-OH there! It is I - Grover!
Daemon (v/o): Get your stinkin' Muppet hands off my boy's radio.
Where's MD?
Grover: He is a little busy right now! Now is the opposite of
then! Now! Then! Now! Then! Now! Then!
The camera pans back to show MarineDevimon playing patty-cake
with the Two-Headed Monster.
Daemon (v/o): I don't know why I bother...
Outside of a café, on a street corner...
LadyDevimon: Doesn't it bother you, being pretty much the only
woman around here?
Prairie Dawn: Not really, no.
LadyDevimon: We sisters have to stick together, y'know.
Prairie Dawn: I couldn't agree more. Hey, you want to come with
me on my next job?
LadyDevimon: What's that?
Prairie Dawn: It's for Bert and Ernie. They like to do me both at
once.
LadyDevimon: ...that is possibly THE singular most disturbing
image I've ever had in my head. Anyway, aren't they gay?
Prairie Dawn: People will talk...
Daemon's voice crackles over LadyDevimon's radio.
LadyDevimon: *picks it up* What the hell is it, jerkwad?
Daemon: Ah... the native's are gettin' restless...
Cut back to Daemon, who's running along the street, dodging a
hail of machine gun fire courtesy of Elmo.
Elmo: Elmo show YOU how he deal with people who won't tickle!!
SkullSatamon comes running down the street in the opposite
direction.
SkullSatamon: You gotta help me, Big D! He ate our whole stash,
and he still wants more!!
Cookie Monster comes charging up behind SkullSatamon, drooling,
with an insane glint in his eye.
Cookie: COOOKIEEEEEEE!!
Daemon clambers up the Sesame Street signpost, and SkullSatamon
follows. They sit on top and look down, as Elmo throws away his
now-empty guns, and yells obscenities at them, and Cookie Monster
gnaws on the post itself.
SkullSatamon: *wails* I wanna go hoooome!
MarineDevimon happily comes strolling up the street.
MarineDevimon: Hey guys, what's up?
LadyDevimon floats in.
LadyDevimon: See, I warned you, this is what happens when you
pull this shit. But do you ever listen?
Daemon: Aw, get off my case, woman.
There's a cackle from below, as Elmo pulls the pin on a grenade,
and hurls it up at the Daemon Corps. MarineDevimon automatically
catches it.
Daemon: THROW IT AWAY!! THROW IT AWAY!!
MarineDevimon: Huh?
*VWORP!*
Charlene: We're - hee-eere...
Daemon jumps on top of Charlene, and SkullSatamon grabs onto his
cloak. LadyDevimon rolls her eyes again, and holds on.
MarineDevimon holds on of SkullSatamon's feet.
Daemon: Go, Go, GO!!
*VWORP!*
The grenade drops to the ground as they vanish, and explodes
there, blowing up a fire hydrant.
Grover: And let that be a lesson to you, kids - never take candy
from strangers and always brush your teeth twice a day. This
programme has been brought to you by the letter H and the number
7. Sunny day, chasin' the clouds away...
- - -
Kumbhiramon: Come on, sweet thing... what's this guy got that I
don't?
Mickey Mouse: She told you to leave her alone, by golly!
Mickey steps in between Minnie Mouse and Kumbhiramon.
Mickey Mouse: Put up your dukes!
Kumbhiramon stares back at Mickey for a second, and clonks him on
the head.
Mickey Mouse: That's dirty fighting!
Kumbhiramon: So...?
*clonk*
Kumbhiramon: I'm bored now... I'm just gonna eviscerate you,
'kay?
*VWORP!*
Charlene et al warp in, and the Censors jump between Kumbhiramon
and Mickey.
Censor Bob: No can do.
Censor Steve: No killing.
Kumbhiramon: Awww! Why not?
Censor Joe: New ownership.
The censors all put on plastic Mickey Mouse ears.
Censor Bob: Spend money on our products, kids.
Charlene: Aaaaanyway... just - a - few - signatures - left...
*VWORP!*
- - -
Suzie: There! Now you're all Pwincess Pwetty Pants!
Several My Little Ponies with names like "Raspberry Mocha
Chino" and "Belgian Hazelnut Delight" canter and
trot around happily as Suzie puts bows in their hair and grooms
their fur.
Lopmon and Chatsuramon sit on the ground, legs crossed, arms
folded, feeling utterly mortified.
Lopmon tugs at the bows tied in his ears.
Lopmon: I feel so violated.
Chatsuramon: YOU feel violated? I'm wearing BOOTIES!
*VWORP!*
Charlene: Heh... heh - heh...
Terriermon: *snickers* Hey bro...
Lopmon: You say one word, and you die. I mean it.
Suzie: Hi evewyone! Look at the horsies!
Rika: I always wanted a pony...
Everyone screeches to a halt and looks at Rika.
Rika: *snarls*
Everyone turns away and whistles innocently.
Suzie: The horsies are pwetty! Chocowate bunny pretty too! Bwue
doggy pwetty too! Ice-cweam tastes gweat!
Charlene performs a head-count... she now has everybody, save for
one (just because you didn't SEE it happen doesn't mean it
DIDN'T, okay?)
Charlene: Just - one - more - stop... then - we'll - see - what -
we - do - next...
- - -
*VWORP!*
The entire entourage warps into the middle of Barney's classroom,
as BlackWarGreymon sits around a table with all the kids.
Random Kid: Look, Barney! More new friends!
Barney: Super-deeeEEeeeEEEeee-DUPER!!
BlackWarGreymon: Hey guys! Come join us!
Charlene looks around the room, and shudders.
Charlene: Er... no. C'mon - we're - going.
BlackWarGreymon: But we're making macaroni pictures! See?
BlackWarGreymon holds out a piece of paper, which contains an
image of a heart being stabbed, crushed and kicked around
rendered in macaroni and stick-on sparkles.
Devimon: That's very, very good!
BlackWarGreymon: Aw, you're just saying that.... and we have a
Scottish guy coming in later to play his bagpipes and tell us how
great Scotland is! He's one of Barney's friends!
Charlene: Seriously - come - on. This - place - is - freaking -
me - out.
BlackWarGreymon: Oh well... it was nice while it lasted. Goodbye,
everyone!
Barney: Bye-bye, new friend! And remember - I love you!
BlackWarGreymon: *sniffs* Y-you... do?
Barney: Yup! I love you, you love me, we're a happy fami-
Charlene. STOP - SINGING.
BlackWarGreymon: I... I love you too, Barney! I LOVE ALL OF YOU!!
*starts blubbering*
Charlene: Jesus - Christ. Will - somebody - help - him?
Devimon and Apocalymon guide BlackWarGreymon over to the group,
who all grab a hold of each other.
Charlene: No - way - in - hell - we're - staying - here...
Puppetmon: God, I HATE this show! You kids'll all be doing porno
by the time your twenty, you hear me? TWENTY!!
Random Kid: That late?
Several other kids go out back and light up a few cigarettes.
*VWORP!*
- - -
In the purple void, the sight of everyone hanging onto each other
is indeed a strange one to behold.
Lopmon: Who's up for a nice game of "What's that
Odour?"
Izzy: This can't be easy on you, Charlene...
Charlene: Does - it - LOOK - like - it - is? Nngh... we - should
- try - and - set - down - some - place - and - find - a - new -
craft - or - something.
Tai: Is there anywhere like that nearby?
Charlene: Scanning... wait! I - think... I'm - picking - up -
some - readings - that - are - similar - to - our - world's... we
- might - be - in - luck!
Charlene banks right and heads for the nearest dimension.
Puppetmon: Easy at the front! I get carsick!
Charlene: It's - gonna - be - a - bumpy - landinnggg...!
- - -
*VWORP!*
The group materialises above some treetops, and everyone falls,
crashing through the branches. Yells and shouts can be heard, as
one by one, everyone hits the ground.
Ken: *rubs head* Where are Willis and Henry...?
There's a crash nearby, and everyone turns around... to see
Willis and Henry sitting on the ground, separated!
Henry: Wise man once say... what the HELL was that all about?
Willis: I do NOT appreciate being used as a plot device!
Terriermon: Willis! Henry! You guys are okay!
Terriermon hugs Willis and Henry with his ears.
Lopmon: Whoopee, I'm sure.
Izzy: What happened?
Charlene: They - were - yanked - apart - when - they - fell -
through - the - trees...
Tai: Does... that mean... we're STUCK here?
Charlene attempts to manipulate the dimensional energies to no
avail.
Charlene: Uh - oh... hey - guys... shake - hands?
Willis: Oh, no, not THAT again...
Henry: Travel only brings you back to where you start.
Charlene: JUST - DO - IT!!
Willis and Henry shriek, and quickly shake hands... but nothing
happens.
Charlene: Dammit. They've - stabilised. Yes. We're - stuck -
here.
Sora: Well... where IS here?
Everyone spins around again, as a rustling is heard in the
bushes. The group tenses, waiting to see what kind of being will
emerge.
There's a squeak, as a little rodent creature hops out of the
bushes, and scampers up to the group. It looks up at them.
Yolei: Aw, it's cute!
Takato: But what IS it?
The small, yellow rodent grins, and opens its mouth.
Rodent: PIKA!!
- - -
TO BE CONTINUED!!
- - -
Oh, yeah, baby, that's right. It's the ultimate crossover, and
it's coming your way! And this time - it's being done RIGHT! Tune
in next time for -
"DO THE HOKEY POKÉ!"
Trust me, you don't want to miss this one, as "Take Me To
Another World!" enters its final phase!
- - -
Meanwhile, in the Dark Ocean...
...
...
...
...
...
...
...
Dragomon: YAHTZEE!
Scubamon: Dammit!
- - -