Back in the bar again. Myotismon looks back over his shoulder as he leans on the bar in the same place, with Jun beside him.

Myotismon: So, anyway, like I was saying earlier...

Jun: Sure, you can sign my shirt! *giggle*

Myotismon: Gre-eat! Show me the way!

Jun leads Myotismon off. Chris walks into the bar, and is suddenly shoved aside as a weeping Piedmon rushes past.

Chris: *sigh* That’s IT. No more gay jokes. I swear. Hey Leomon!

Leomon: What can I getcha?

Chris: Nothing. I just wanted to give you a line in the fic.

Leomon: Sweet.

Chris walks past and over to Ken, who’s hiding under a table.

Chris: Will you come out from under there? I’ve got them under control now.

Ken: Are you sure?

Chris: Uh-huh.

Ken climbs out.

Ken: I really DO NOT like you, you know.

Chris: None of you guys ever do.

Chris steals Ken’s shades and runs off.

Ken: Ack!

Chris comes to halt in the doorway.

Chris: Okay, people! Get moving! Time for section four! Let’s go!

Chris tosses Ken’s shades away and goes in backstage, while the audience takes it’s seats. The Digimon Theme starts playing, and Chris walks out.

Chris: Thanks for bearing with me, everyone! Now, welcome back to the last portion of the evening of

THE FIRST ANNUAL DIGI-AWARDS!

Chris: Where we’ll be looking at:

SECTION FOUR: MISCELLANEOUS

Chris: ...all those little issues about marketing and actors and other stuff on the show that I couldn’t squeeze into other categories! So, let’s get this ball rolling!

CATEGORY ONE - MOST POPULAR U.S. SONG

Chris: To present this award, put your hands together one more time for the musically-inclined DigiDestined - Matt and Mimi!

Matt and Mimi enter stage left and right, respectively, with The Blues and “Material Girl” playing, also respectively. They meet at the lectern.

Matt: We’re not kissing.

Mimi: It’ll fuel the Mimato idiocy.

Chris: And rightly so. *goes backstage*

Matt: Are you ready to ROCK?

Audience: Yeah!

Matt: I can’t hear you! I said: ARE YOU READY TO ROCK?!

Audience: YEAH!

Matt: Okay.

Mimi: The votes for Most Popular U.S. Song were:

1 - “Change Into Power”
1 - “Nowhere Near” by Summercamp
1 - “Going Digital”
1 - “I Wanna Sing A Song” sung by Mimi in “Princess Karaoke”
2 - “Kick It Up”
2 - “Here We Go” by Jasan Gochin
6 - “Run Around” by Jason Radford
7 - “Hey Digimon” by Paul Gordon

And so, “Hey Digimon” wins! Yep, believe it or not! Paul Gordon, come on up!

Paul Gordon comes up and collects his Digi. There is silence for a few minutes.

Chris: *walks out, whispers* Uhm... does anyone actually KNOW who this guy IS?

Matt and Mimi shake their heads. Chris turns to the audience, who, in unison, do likewise.

Chris: Err... thanks, Mr. Gordon. You can sit down again now.

Silently, Paul Gordon takes his seat again.

Chris, Matt & Mimi: Creeeepy.

Chris: Matt, Mimi, thanks a lot, sorry this bit wasn’t overly funny, but I’m reeeally running out of material to work with here.

Matt: That’s all right.

Mimi: Yeah, we understand, you can’t be hilariously funny all the time.

Chris: I love you guys. Matt and Mimi, everyone!

The audience applauds as they resume their seats.

CATEGORY TWO - WORST U.S. SONG

Chris: For this award, let’s say hello to two DigiDestined who’ve proved they can’t sing a note - Joe and Tai!

Joe and Tai enter, stage left and right, as “Lean On Me” plays. There’s no music for Tai. They shake hands when they meet at the lectern. Chris goes backstage.

Tai: I’m not sure whether or not we should take the fact that we’ve been selected to do this award as an insult or not...

Joe: Probably better not to think about it...

Tai: Yeah. That Chris guy can DO stuff, you know?

Joe: I saw.

Tai: Anyway, the voted for Worst U.S. Song were:

1 - “Going Digital”
1 - “Here We Go” by Jasan Gochin
2 - “Change Into Power”
3 - “DigiRap” by M.C. PeaPod and Paul Gordon
4 - “Digimon Theme” by Paul Gordon
7 - “Hey Digimon” by Paul Gordon

...well, whaddaya know about that?

Joe: Paul Gordon, come on down for a second time! It’s a crap song, but we love it anyway!

“Hey Digimon” starts playing this time, and half the audience puts their fingers in their ears, as Paul Gordon goes up and takes his award.

Chris: *walks out, and pokes Paul Gordon in the shoulder* Who IS this guy, seriously?

Paul Gordon resumes his seat.

Chris: Geez, with characters like him winning awards, I’m never gonna get any material from this section! Oh, well, thanks anyway, Tai and Joe!

The music plays as they leave the stage.

CATEGORY THREE - MOST POPULAR JAPANESE SONG

Chris: I’ve no idea who made these songs, so I can’t give awards to specific people for them, so I’m just going to rattle through this and the next award quick-like. To help me, here are two Digimon who know good music when they hear it - Gekomon and Otamamon!

The two little Digimon lollop out, with “The Frog Song” playing.

Gekomon: Hello, everyone!

Otamamon: Nice to be here!

Gekomon: The votes for Most Popular Japanese Song were:

1 - The introductory music to “Our WarGame”
1 - “Brave Heart”
1 - “Be All Right”
1 - “On the Hill”
2 - “Keep On”
3 - “Butterfly”
3 - “Holy Light”

Chris pitches an award to Kari, for her theme, “Holy Light,” but can’t chuck one at whoever wrote “Butterfly” because he doesn’t know who they are.

Chris: And next:

CATEGORY FOUR - WORST JAPANESE SONG

Otamamon: The votes for this section were:

1 - “Butterfly”
1 - “I Wish”
1 - “7”
1 - Tai’s Image Song
1 - Etemon’s Theme

Chris: Another case of no clear-cut winner, I’m afraid. That’s it for these song questions. Thank you, Otamamon and Gekomon!

“The Frog Song” plays again, as the two Digimon leave the stage.

CATEGORY FIVE - MOST POPULAR PIECE OF DIGIMON MERCHANDISE

Chris: The host for this award was obvious - so let’s all welcome back a girl who’s shopping trips are the stuff of legend - Mimi!

“Material Girl” plays as Mimi enters.

Chris: I didn’t get a chance to ask you before hand, but are you feeling a
little better now?

Mimi: Yeah, I’m okay now. That fantasy thing was very disturbing.

Chris: I can’t disagree. That girl has problems...

Chris side-steps, and Yolei’s shoe flies past again.

Chris: So, anyway, Mimi, do read the votes.

Mimi: I’d be glad to! *smile* The votes for Most Popular Piece of
Merchandise were:

1 - “Digimon World” Playstation game
1 - DigiVices
1 - D3 DigiVices
1 - Digivolving action figures
2 - 2 inch action figures
3 - “Digimon: the Movie” soundtrack
4 - Digi-Battle card game
5 - Plushes

*squeal* OooOOooh! That’s so cute! The plush toys won!

Chris: And one little guy who people continuously mentioned when they voted
for the plushes was -
Patamon!

Patamon flies up to the stage and accepts his Digi.

Patamon: Thanks again, everyone!

Gomamon: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! I’m *much* cuter than he is!

Chris: Don’t kid yourself.

Gomamon: AARGH! MARCHING FISHES!

There are a few wet slaps, and Chris looks down, to see three multi-coloured
fish flopping around on the
stage.

Chris: Ew... do you know how much it’s gonna cost to get the fish-smell out
of the stage now?

Chris flicks the fish off the stage with his foot, and the people in the
front row of the audience squeal and
recoil as they get near them. A Numemon slithers up to one, sniffs it, picks
it up and swallows it whole. It’s
cheeks then swell up, and it runs out of the amphitheatre.

Chris: Geez... if HE can’t stomach those fish, maybe they really are a
deadly weapon...

Gomamon: EAT ONE, DAMN YOU!

Chris: No. Patamon, everyone!

Patamon resumes his seat to applause.

Chris: And Mimi!

More applause, as “Material Girl” plays again and Mimi leaves the stage.

CATEGORY SIX - TAI OR MATT?

Chris: If everyone’s favourite epitomes of bad hair days were to actually
have a proper brawl that wasn’t
interrupted or fiddled with by those damn censors, who’s come out as the
victor? To tell us what you said,
here are the two people who know them the best - TK and Kari!

“Puppy Love” plays, they come on stage, blah, blah, you know what happens by
now, okay?

Chris: I know who I’d vote for in this section, but of course, I wasn’t
voting. So, what did the fans say?

TK: It was a very close race, I’ve gotta say.

Kari: Yep, but in the end, it came out:

2 - Didn’t answer the question and supplied useless but witty comment
9 - Matt
11 - Tai

The fans were very vocal in this section:

“Tai, on pure emotion.” - Thomas Conner

“Everyone. At least one of them would be seriously injured. Matt’d look like
he might win for a while, but
only until being that close to each other got too much for them and the
‘fight’ turned into something no kids’
show would broadcast. Well, maybe Teletubbies.” - Ghostyhead

“Tai... I hope... or Sora... after all, she could take Matt...” - Brett
Salyer

“Tai... because he’s more athletic and Matt is more... sensitive.” - Mike
“Veemon”

“MATT OVCOURSE!” - AlyaKitty

“The spectators, of course!” - Timestones

“Matt would consider it a victory... if you know what I mean... heh,
heh...” - BenTheGuy@webtv.net

“Well, Matt would win because all he would have to do is hang Tai from a
tree by his hair.” - Relevart

TK: *grumbles* My brother is not gay...

Chris: Damned Taito fans!

Kari: C’mon up here, big brother!

Tai goes up to the stage and accepts his award.

Tai: Thanks everyone! There was a really narrow margin there, but I’m
confident I could hand Matt his
head, any time, any place.

Chris: *absently* There’s a double-entendre in there somewhere, but I can’t
quite find it...

Matt: Oh, YEAH? You wanna go, right here, right now?!

All the females in the audience squeal and cry their approval.

Chris: No-oo. We’ll not be having any more of THAT, thank you. I said no
more gay jokes either! *smacks
his head* What’s wrong with me? Tai, take your seat, and if you even start
with the fighting, I’ll... gah, I
dunno, I’ll write that you explode, right?

Tai: Yessum.

Tai takes his seat.

Chris: Okay. I’m calm. Deep healing breath... okay. And of course, give it
up for TK and Kari!

“Puppy Love” plays again as the two leave the stage.

CATEGORY SEVEN - MOST POPULAR NON-SHOW CHARACTER

Chris: For this section, I asked the voters what character that wasn’t
included in the show - like a character
from a trading card, or something like that - should have been. There were a
lot to chose from, so the votes
were widespread. But, to sift through ‘em, here’s Davis and Cody!

“Lean On Me” and “She’s Something Else” play as the guys come out on stage
and shake hands.

Cody: A most interesting award.

Davis: Yep, and it’s a long list, so I’m gettin’ through it as quick as I
can! The votes were:

1 - MetalTyrannomon
1 - WaruSeadramon
1 - Jijimon
1 - Any of the DD Digimon babies which were not named
1 - Apemon
1 - Knightmon
1 - MarineDevimon
2 - Rosemon
2 - HerculesKabuterimon
2 - Phoenixmon

Cody: That wasn’t that long...

Davis: Yeah, I know, but I’m tired, and I wanna go home.

Cody: Ah.

Palmon: Palmon, warp-digivolve to...

Tentomon: Tentomon, warp-digivolve to...

Biyomon: Biyomon, warp-digivolve to...

The entire audience looks at the Rookies as they squat on the spot and
strain really hard, their little
Digi-bodies shaking.

Tentomon: NNNnnnnNNNNNnnnngh! Work, damn you!

Biyomon: This... actually hurts... quite a lot...

Palmon: C’mon... I wanna digivolve into a hentai model!

Chris: Oh, cut that out before you soil that formal wear.

The three Rookies shrug and come up on stage, and take their awards.

Tentomon: It’s not fair! Why do Matt and Tai’s Digimon get to be the special
ones?

Biyomon: We want to be special to!

Palmon: Give us the CGI!

Chris: Don’t forget, Angemon and Angewomon have gone Mega, too...

Tentomon: Hot damn! I forgot about that! This is SO not fair!

Gomamon: You think THAT’s not fair?! With you three, I’m the only other one
who hasn’t gone Mega, and
I didn’t even GET A VOTE!

Palmon: Well, maybe if your Mega stage didn’t look like a shaven gerbil with
wings...

Gomamon: I... don’t have to sit here and listen to this, you know...

Palmon: Yuh-huh. Whatever.

Chris: Well, you three can take consolation that fans get to enjoy your Mega
stages in the card games. And
hey, there’s still a little super-deformed HerculesKabuterimon figure
available too, in those multi-packs.

Tentomon: Hee, hee... I’m cooler than you two!

Biyomon and Palmon: *grumble*

Davis: Again with the grumbling...

The three Rookies take their seats.

Davis: NOW can we go home?

Chris: No, not yet, dammit! There’s still just a few more to go.

Davis: Ah, for the love of...

Cody leads Davis back to his seat, with their respective music playing.

CATEGORY EIGHT - MOST POPULAR VOICE ACTOR

Chris: Talk about a lot of different votes! To wade through this mess’a
crap, say hi again to Yolei and Izzy!

“It’s Rainin’ Men” and “The AOL Song” play as the both walk in. Chris ducks
backstage, not wanting to get
near Yolei. The bend inward to kiss.

Laptop: GET - AWAY- FROM - HIM - YOU - WHORE!

A bolt of electricity explodes between Izzy and Yolei throwing them to the
ground. Charlene continues to
bleep furiously.

Izzy: Now, CHARLENE! I’ve warned you about that!

Yolei: Uhm... I think I just want to do the votes and get off the stage... I ’m an easy target up here...

Izzy: Well, by all means, then.

Yolei: The name of the voice actor has been included here where Chris knows
it. The votes for Most
Popular Voice Actor were:

1- Tai (Joshua Seth)
1 - 02 TK (Doug Erholtz)
1 - Elecmon
1 - Sora (Colleen O’Shaughnessy)
1 - Joe (Michael Lindsay)
1 - Kari (Lara Jill Miller)
1 - Matt (Michael Reisz)
1 - Frigimon
1 - Cody (Philece Sampler)
1 - Hawkmon (Neil Kaplan)
1 - Flamedramon (sounds like Dave Mallow, but I could be wrong...)
2 - Mimi (Philece Sampler)
2 - Ken (Derek Stephan Prince)
2 - Angemon (Dave Mallow)
2 - Piedmon
2 - Gomamon (R. Martin Klein)
2 - Palmon (Anna Garundo)
3 - Izzy (Mona Marshall)
3 - Tentomon (Jeff Nimoy)
3 - Gatomon (Edie Mirman)
3 - Gabumon (Kirk Thorton)

A four-way tie! The biggest of the night!

Yolei first of all hands Izzy his Digi.

Yolei: For being a guy who’s voice is done by a woman, you’re pretty cute.

Chris pokes his head out from backstage, and jerks it in Yolei’s direction.

Chris: The fantasy, people, the fantasy! More evidence!

Yolei: Will you SHUT UP about that?

Chris: Just ‘cause you asked so nice. *ducks backstage again*

Tentomon, Gatomon and Gabumon come up to the stage, and receive their
awards.

Yolei: Apparently people voted for your voice because it’s relaxing,
Gabumon.

Gabumon: Well, what do you expect when I’m on weed?

Yolei: ...what?

Gabumon: Uh... uh... nothing!

Izzy: Yeah, right. And congrats to Tentomon and Gatomon, too, of course.

Tentomon: My voice is so freaky...

Gatomon: Mine’s not exactly normal either...

Chris: *walks out* Yes, but it’s because they SUIT your character that
people voted for them.

Gabumon, Gatomon & Tentomon: Thanks, everyone!

The three Digimon take their seats.

Chris: And thanks to Yolei and Cody!

Their songs play as they leave the stage. Izzy’s laptop beeps angrily at
Yolei, who sticks her tongue out at it.

Laptop: DIE - BITCH!

More electricity zaps in Yolei’s direction, but she hides under a seat.

Izzy: Charlene, don’t MAKE me hit CTRL-ART-DEL, okay?

Laptop: I’ll - be - good.

CATEGORY NINE - WORST/MOST ANNOYING VOICE ACTOR

Chris: The flipside! To handle award, put your hands together for Myotismon
and Sora!

Sora enters, with “My Girl” playing. Chris walks off before she gets to the
lectern, and she looks noticeably
relieved. As Myotismon appears, with the Buffy theme playing, Chris prods
him in the stomach.

Chris: If you so much as touch her, I will inflict torture on you like you
can’t imagine.

Myotismon: Oh, yeah, right, suuuure you.

Chris snaps his fingers, and Myotismon finds himself in an empty room,
entirely white, with no windows or
doors. All at once... Aaron Carter music is piped in!

Myotismon: AAIIGH! NOOO! MAKE IT STOP!!!

Myotismon reappears on stage.

Chris: It’s...

Myotismon: Yeah, yeah, I know, “...good to be the king...”

Chris: Now you’re learning.

Chris goes backstage.

Myotismon: Good evening, my dear.

Sora: Why on Earth have we been paired up to do this award?

Myotismon: We were the only two left.

Sora: Oh. Where’s Piedmon?

Myotismon: I’m not sure... *looks out into the audience*

Piedmon jumps up from his seat.

Piedmon: You lied to me! You’re always running around with floozies! Look at
you, up there, doing it right
now!

Myotismon: But... I...!

Chris: (v/o) I SAID NO MORE GAY JOKES!

Sora: *sigh* The votes for Worst/Most Annoying Voice Actor were:

1 - Hawkmon (Neil Kaplan)
1 - DemiDevimon (Derek Stephen Prince)
1 - Puppetmon
1 - Patamon (Laura Summer)
1 - MetalSeadramon
1 - Veemon (Derek Stephen Prince)
1 - Palmon (Anna Garundo)
1 - TK (Wendee Lee)
1 - Joe (Michael Lindsay)
2 - Nefertimon (Edie Mirman)
2 - Garudamon (Tiffany Christun)
2 - Cody (Philece Sampler)
2 - Armadillomon (Robert Axelrod)
2 - Mimi (Philece Sampler)
3 - Kari (Lara Jill Miller)
3 - Gatomon (Edie Mirman)

Come on up here, Kari! And Gatomon, too!

Kari and Gatomon come up, and Sora gives Kari her award. Myotismon throws
his back out bending down
to give Gatomon hers.

Myotismon: Ack! My spine!

Gatomon: How can I win Best and Worst...?

Chris: *walks out* Just because you may be skilled in the art of speaking
doesn’t mean your voice isn’t the
most godawfully annoying thing to listen to.

Gatomon: Ah.

Chris kicks Myotismon in the base of his spine, fixing it.

Myotismon: Ahh.. that’s better...

Chris: And Kari... well, I believe most people would know my views on your
voice...

Kari: If you make one more crack about me, I swear to God, when I’m done
with you, you’ll be lucky if you
HAVE a voice...

Chris: Now, now, no need to be so violent...

Kari: Wanna bet?

Chris: Erm... Gatomon and Kari, audience!

There’s applause, as Gatomon drags Kari back to her seat.

Chris: And of course, Sora!

Chris leans in and grins at her.

Myotismon: ...and me.

Chris: Hmn? Oh, yeah, and you too.

Sora hastily resumes her seat, and Myotismon follows, with their tunes
playing.

CATEGORY TEN - MOST POPULAR PIECE OF TECHNOLOGY

Chris: Aw, no... *sigh* ... sorry folks, but it seems that the individual
down to present this award is...
*shudder* Gennai.

Chris picks up the disconnected cable and plugs it back in. Gennai’s image
appears again.

Gennai: ...back in Dubbya Dubbya Two, it was, I nearly lost both my elbows
when this massive custard pie
decided to raise the taxes, and would whisper lovingly about the price of
gasoline, which was high, at the
time. Why, I can remember back when...

Chris: Why me...? Gennai!

Gennai: Awp! No need to yell, boy! I’m not deaf!

Chris: Okay... sorry... look... would you just read the votes, please?

Gennai: The votes? Damn, boy, don’t you watch TV? They’ve got to recount the
votes.. all them damn folks
down in Florida got it mixed up, or something...

Chris: Ack! No! Not that!

Gennai: Are these my hands?

Chris: Yes... and look, what’s that in them?

Gennai: Some kinda card.

Chris: Why don’t you read out what it says?

Gennai: The votes for Most Popular Piece of Technology were:

1 - Digi-Eggs
1 - Black DigiVice
1 - D3
1 - D-Terminal
1 - Black Gears
1 - Black Rings
1 - Mrs. Ichijouji’s label maker
2 - Dark Spirals
3 - DigiVices
6 - Crests

What’s all this hootenanny about?

Chris: Never mind, Gennai, you’ve done your job, thanks very much.

Gennai: You’re welcome. I c’n remember back when kids wouldn’t respect the
elders, and we’d have to
beat it into ‘em with blancmange, so we would, and then the monkeys would
get involved, and of course
there’d be the hairclip tortilla Mr. Eff barbecue Happy Noodle Boy
gingivitis...

Chris quietly tugs the cable out again.

Chris: He’s really losing it... he needs to get out once in a while... but
seeing as he’s the one who helped
make the Crests, we’re mailing his Digi over to him. Not that it wouldn’t do
him any good to haul his
trout-like ass out here for the ceremony, but nooOOOoooOOoooo, he’s too GOOD
for us...

CATEGORY ELEVEN - MOST POPULAR DIGIDESTINED ACCESSORY

Chris: To present this award, will you please welcome, for the first time
tonight, everybody’s favourite
materialistic little woodenhead - Puppetmon!

Puppetmon comes out, with “I’ve Got No Strings” playing.

Puppetmon: ...the hell? I’ve got strings! Just LOOK!

Puppetmon wiggles his arms and legs, and then falls over, as he’s thrown his
balance off, and that big back
brace thing is heavy.

Chris: Hmn... you’ve got a point there...

Chris goes backstage, then re-emerges.

Chris: Okay, try that one!

“Like A Puppet On A String” starts playing.

Chris: Muuuch better.

Puppetmon: That’s a matter of opinion...

Chris: Do you WANT me to make you cry again?

Puppetmon: *sniff* No...

Chris: Okay then. So just read the awards.

Puppetmon: The votes for Most Popular DigiDestined Accessory were:

1 - TK’s 02 hat
1 - Matt’s harmonica
1 - The stars from 02 Mimi’s hair
1 - Davis’s flame jacket
1 - Izzy’s gloves
1 - Joe’s glasses
1 - Kari’s whistle
1 - Gatomon’s claw gloves (not technically a DD accessory, but what the
hell, it only got one vote so it
doesn’t matter)
2 - Kari’s digital camera
2 - Ken’s outfit
2 - TK’s 01 hat
3 - Sora’s hat
4 - Tai’s goggles
5 - Izzy’s laptop

Chris: Yup, with a quite amazing last-minute turn of events, Izzy’s laptop
swooped in to snatch victory from
the clutches of Tai’s goggles, who, indeed, had only just managed to pull
ahead of Sora’s hat before the
laptop made it’s mark!

Puppetmon: Izzy, bring that stupid thing up here!

Izzy: She is NOT stupid, her name is Charlene!

Laptop: Remember - it - woodentop.

Puppetmon sets Charlene’s Digi on her keyboard.

Laptop: Argh - ouch - get - it - off - it’s - heavy!

Izzy quickly takes the Digi off.

Laptop: You - stupid - baby!

Puppetmon: I’m NOT A BABY! PUPPET PUMMEL!

Laptop: Connection - Terminator!

Charlene shoots a blast of electricity out to counter Puppetmon’s attack.
There’s an explosion, and when the
smoke clears, Chris is pinned under the lectern, Puppetmon’s been blown off
the stage, and Charlene is lying
up against the curtain, where she landed.

Izzy: OH MY GOD!

Izzy scoops up Charlene and cradles her in his arms. He taps frantically at
her keys. Her screen is cracked.

Laptop: My mind is going, Izzy... my mind is going... my... my... my name is
Charlene... I know a little
song... Hey Digimon, Hey Digimon... Monster friends to the boys and girls...

Chris hauls himself out from under the lectern, and staggers over. He
reaches down, and presses Charlene’s ‘Off’
key.

Izzy: NOOOO!

Chris: Pretend she was a horse, man... kindest thing to do, you know?

Izzy: *sniff*

Chris: IT WAS A COMPUTER!

Izzy slinks offstage, while Puppetmon groans and gets up.

Puppetmon: Is that it?

Chris: Yeah.

Puppetmon: You’d better not try and get me back for this thing next year...

Chris: Pfft, like you could stop me.

Puppetmon: *sniff*

CATEGORY TWELVE - 01 OR 02?

Chris: This is IT, folks! The final award! The coup de grace! The ultimate
question!

Chris whips out an envelope.

Chris: Inside of his envelope, are the votes! Which do you prefer - 01 or
02? And now, I’d invite all our
hosts from this evening to join me onstage as I open it and reveal the
answer!

The Digimon Theme plays as Tai, Sora, Matt, Joe, Mimi, Izzy, Agumon,
Biyomon, Gabumon, Gomamon,
Palmon, Tentomon, TK, Kari, Davis, Yolei, Cody, Ken, Patamon, Gatomon,
Veemon, Hawkmon,
Armadillomon, Wormmon, Myotismon, Piedmon, Ogremon, Andromon, Frigimon,
Meramon, Devimon,
LadyDevimon, DemiDevimon, Etemon and Puppetmon come up on stage. Chris sighs
and plugs Gennai’s
cable back in. He kicks the projector, and the sound of Gennai’s incoherent
babbling cuts out. Chris looks
around.

Chris: Hey... where’s Jun?

Myotismon wipes his mouth with his sleeve and belches.

Myotismon: Who?

Chris: Ah, never mind. So - the ultimate question: 01 or 02?

The music dies down, and a hush falls over the audience as Chris’s hand
wavers over the envelope. He tears
it open, and reads the votes:

6 - 02
11 - 01

Chris: And there it is! At this point in time, 01 reigns supreme... perhaps
the coming of Chimeramon,
Palidramon, Arachnamon and BlackWarGreymon will change all that... but for
now... congratulations to the
01 DigiDestined and their Digimon!

Chris does the rounds, handing the last batch of Digi-Awards to the 01 DD
and their Digimon, including TK
and Kari and their Digimon. The Digimon Theme starts to play again.

Chris: Well, it’s been quite an evening, hasn’t it, folks? Certainly,
however much I mightn’t like the idea,
Kari is our big winner tonight, carrying off more awards than anyone, be
they bad or good!

Kari takes a bow.

Chris: It’s been a long sixty-three pages, ladies and gents, but we’ve made
it! Most of us, anyway...

Chris looks at Izzy, still cradling Charlene’s husk.

Chris: And so, from me, and from everyone here tonight, I bid all of you
good night!

The lights dim down, and the audience files out of the amphitheatre.

In the hall outside, everyone stands around and talks. In a corner,
however...

Ken: *rubs hands* One measly award, eh? I’ll show them all...

Yolei suddenly appears.

Ken: Ack! I’ve told you not to DO that!

Yolei: You said I could help!

Ken: Yeah, well, that was before you started chasing me around the place and
making me look like a fool!

Yolei pouts.

Ken: Oh, fine, fine... one thing I have to say for that Susan girl, she does
up come up with the most excellent
plans...

Ken produces a small remote control device.

Ken: Just one push of this button, and the entire place is going to be blown
sky high!

Yolei: Ooh, let me do it, let me do it!

Ken: If I do, will you leave me alone?

Yolei: *crosses her fingers behind her back* Yuh-huh!

Ken: Very well.

Ken hands her the remote.

Ken: Now let’s get out of here. I don’t exactly want to get blown to bits
with this dump.

Yolei and Ken rush outside. Yolei’s finger wavers over the button on the
remote. Ken winds up a little egg
timer that he happens to be carrying, and sets it down.

Ken: Twenty seconds... nineteen... eighteen...

Ken feels a tap on his shoulder.

Ken: Now what?

Ken turns around, to see Chris standing there, with two of his Bakemon
security guards.

Ken: What do you want?

Chris: Well, my Bakemon found these things littered around the ceremony
building... we figured they were
yours, seeing as there’s a “Property of Ken Ichijouji” label stuck on each
of them.

Ken: *to self* Dammit, mother! I told you stop doing that...! *to Chris*
What’d you find?

Chris: Boys?

The Bakemon produce a very large number of bombs and hand them to Ken.

Chris: Glad to have been of service.

Chris and the Bakemon walk/float off.

Yolei hasn’t been paying attention, and is fixated on the timer.

Yolei: ...five... four... three... two...

Ken: Oh, mummy.

Yolei: ONE!

*click*

*KA-BOOOOOOOOM!*

THE END!

GOODNIGHT, EVERYBODY!