Disclaimer: I don't own either Digimon or Power Rangers
(not that I would want the latter).
Author's Notes: The second part of my current arc, "Take Me To Another World." Before this, you might want to read "Where There's a Willis, There's a Way!" and "To Boldly Go Where No Mon Has Gone Before!" but you don't need to read them to enjoy this fic - their events are recapped at the beginning, anyway.
If you're a Power Rangers fan, it'll pay to have a REALLY good sense of humour here...
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TURBO NINJA ZEO RANGERS LOST IN A GALAXY IN TIME!
"Take Me To Another World!" Part Two
By Chris McFeely
With a tip of the hat to Aaron Thall
- - -
Ken: Hey, readers. It's Ken here - although at the moment, I'm not sure where "here" is! The entire recording studio's been sent tumbling through space and time after Willis - an object that doesn't technically exist - connected with Henry - an object who doesn't really exist - on a plane of reality that does exist. Yeah, I don't really understand it either, but we all got catapulted into the middle of a battle between the Starship Enterprise and a Klingon war ship. Thankfully, Tai, Davis, Charlene and... Mr. Spock... were able to whip something up to get rid of them. And now we've been able to use it to control the dimensional energy that Willis and Henry are producing... but Charlene doesn't seem to be finding it an easy task!!
Ken crashes headlong into Joe as the recording studio bucks about in interdimensional space.
Takato: I thought you said... you could... get... us... home!
Charlene: Get - off - my - back - goggle - boy! This - is - tricky - work!
Charlene grunts and struggles to manipulate the dimensional energy.
Izzy: How are you doing?
Charlene: Oh - I'm - just - peachy... I'm - so - relaxed... say - could - you - get - me - a - Snapple? HOW - THE - HELL - DO - YOU - THINK - I'M - DOING?!
Apocalymon: It's the end! It's the end, I tell you!
BlackWarGreymon: We're DOOOOMED!
Charlene: That's - it... I - have - to - set - us - down - in - the - next - reality... nngh...
The dimensional energy pulses, and the studio begins to calm down, as a world fades in around it.
Everyone looks around. The scene before them is a simple normal-looking park, with plenty of grass, flowers, and normal-looking children playing. Beyond the park is a normal-looking city.
The dimensional energy flickers again.
Charlene: I've - set - up - a - kind - of - barrier - around - the - studio. Those - people - out - there - can't - see - us - now.
Tai: Well... this seems nice enough.
Matt: We could hang here for a while until you get a handle on what you're doing...
Izzy: You guys all just stay inside the barrier, so you don't get seen.
Sora: After all, God knows how this nice, normal town would react to seeing monsters...
- - -
A little later, a small group of the kids - Davis, Yolei, Matt, Sora and Cody - are in a normal-looking fast food restaurant in the normal-looking city. Matt pays for their food, and Davis opens his kiddie-meal.
Davis: Dude, I'm so hungry I could eat a horse...
Yolei: So why'd you order one of those tiny little kid's meals?
Davis: For the toy!
Davis reaches inside the cardboard carton, and retrieves the toy.
Davis: Aw, what a total rip... did you ever see anything as crappy looking as this?
Davis holds out the toy. It's a small, plastic figurine, dressed in a red costume, with white diamonds on it, wearing a red helmet, and white gloves and boots. Davis squeezes the figure's legs together, and it performs a karate chop, accompanied by a bizarre "WHSSSH!" noise.
Cody: Heh, yeah, that really is bad... I'd be so ashamed if I were that company... imagine what it would be like if they made lots of cheap, crappy Digimon merchandise!
Cody: *looks around* What was that?
- - -
Elsewhere in the normal-looking city...
Tai, Joe, Izzy, Ken and Takato are walking down a normal-looking street.
Takato: Uhm, excuse me, oh great and wondrous ones...
Izzy: Will you quit that?
Takato: A million pardons, your greatness!
Tai: *sigh* What is it?
Takato: It's just that I seem to be on the verge of dehydration due to sweating profusely in your nigh-holy presence. Could we get a drink?
Joe: Sounds like a plan to me... anyone see anywhere we could do that...?
Ken: There's some kinda fruity-looking juice bar just over there... *points*
They all cross the street, and go into the juice bar.
Ken: Dear God, it looks like some kind of fifties roller disco crack den in here.
Big Fat Juice Bar Owner: What can I getcha?
They all order a drink, and look around. Across the room, six teenagers, each wearing clothes that are entirely one colour, randomly perform outlandish martial arts manoeuvres.
Joe: Do they really think they're impressing anyone with that?
Takato runs up to the guy dressed in red and asks for his autograph.
Joe smacks his forehead.
Several children crowd around these normal-looking teenagers and comment on how awesome they are.
Random Child: Gee, mithter, you guyth are nearly ath good ath the Power Rangerth!
Tai lifts an eyebrow.
Tai looks at Izzy, who looks at Ken, who looks at Joe.
Tai grabs Takato, and they run like hell out of the bar.
- - -
Back in the park...
Myotismon: Nuts to this! I have to pee!
Piedmon: You probably shouldn't...
Myotismon steps outside the barrier, and one of the children in the park looks up and sees him.
Myotismon: Aw, nertz...
Tai, Izzy, Joe, Ken and Takato come running up, as more people in the park see Myotismon.
Tai: All you had to do was stay inside the barrier! That was ALL!
Myotismon: Kid, if you don't back the hell off, I'm gonna hurt you.
- - -
Meanwhile, news of the latest monster appearance has reached the juice bar...
Big Fat Juice Bar Owner: Another monster! Gee willikers! My juice bar could be under threat! And the Power Rangers aren't here yet... say, maybe those kids who dress in the colours of the Power Rangers and do martial arts like the Power Rangers... could go and get the Power Rangers to help!
He turns... but those kids are gone...
- - -
Back in the park...
Sora, Davis, Matt, Yolei and Cody come jogging up.
Matt: We heard about a monster...?
Yolei: Not too hard to figure out what happened...
Izzy: Actually, it's fairly common around here.
Cody: How do you mean?
Voice (behind them): IT'S MORPHIN' TIME!!
The kids all turn to see the six teens from the bar, who pull out funky belt buckles, and yell gibberish.
The American kids then walk off, and six smaller Japanese teenagers in spandex costumes and stupid helmets walk in.
The quality of filming notably decreases.
Cody: Oh, now I get it...
Pink Ranger: We're the Power Rangers!
The Pink Ranger whirls her fists around, accompanied by WHSSSH noises.
Black Ranger: And we're takin' you down, yo!
The Black Ranger performs a somersault.
Red Ranger: KEEEEYAAAH!!!
The Red Ranger jumps into the air and floats over to Myotismon, his fist outstretched, after doing about six somersaults.
Myotismon extends a finger, and flicks him in the forehead, knocking him to the ground.
The Red Ranger spins around and around and around before falling to the ground, where he writhes in pain, and clutches his forehead.
Ken: ...I'm scared now.
The Yellow Ranger runs up to Myotismon, and punches him in the gut. He is not fazed in the slightest. He looks at her, and flicks her in the forehead too. She does much the same as the Red Ranger, except she jumps ten feet backwards first.
Blue Ranger: This is Rita's most powerful monster yet!
Rika: Did someone mention my name?
Rika's head appears in mid-air, as she sticks it out through the barrier.
Green Ranger: A headless demon!
Rika: Your mama, jerkwad.
Izzy: Charlene, you might as well drop the field...
Charlene: Heck - I - was - just - about - to... this - is - too - good - an - opportunity - to - pass - up...
The air crackles, and the studio fades into sight. The Rangers gasp in badly acted shock, as they look at all the monsters before them. They stare up at the giant forms of Machinedramon and MetalSeadramon... then gawp at the smaller Digimon, like Veemon and the others.
Blue Ranger: Rita's made an army!
Pink Ranger: They're... hideous!
Red Ranger: Let's destroy them all!
Davis: Hey, listen buddy...
Davis extends a finger, and pokes the Red Ranger in the chest.
Red Ranger: YEAAWAARRGH!
There's a small explosion and sparks fly everywhere as Davis finger touches him, as the Red Ranger flies sixty feet backwards through the air.
Davis looks at his finger.
Izzy: Look, we're not here to cause any trouble... if you'll just let us explain...
White Ranger: Okay, you've got five minutes.
Izzy: *blinks* Weren't you the GREEN Ranger a minute ago?
White Ranger: Don't be ridiculous.
- - -
Meanwhile... on the moon...
(Yes, that's right, you heard me, the moon...)
Rita Repulsa: FinsterYouFoolHaveYouFinishedMakingThatNewMonsterForMeYetYouIncompetantBumblingClod?!
Finster fiddles about with a block of clay.
Finster: You can't rush art...
Lord Zedd enters. There's a peal of thunder and a flash of lightning for effect, just 'cause he's the only cool thing on this retarded show.
Lord Zedd: Rita... there appear to be... some... developments on Earth.
Zedd leads Rita to that big telescope thing they use to look at Earth. Rita peers into it.
Rita: Unbelievable! ThereAreOtherMonstersOnEarthThatIDidn'tCreateYouFool! SomeIdioticMoronIsHorningInOnOurTerritoryAIEEARRGH! WeShallHaveToCreateAMonsterThatCanDestroyTheseMonstersAndThenDestroyThePowerRangersWAAARRGH!
Zedd: An excellent notion. Let's send some Putties to keep them occupied.
Rita pulls her eye away from the telescope, and there is now a huge black ring around it.
Goldar hides a pot of black paint as he and Lord Zedd giggle.
- - -
Izzy has completed his explanation, and the Rangers have explained about their own frequent monster problems.
Yellow Ranger: ...from another dimension?
Izzy: Don't repeat what I say, it's very annoying.
In the background, Davis continues to poke Yolei with the same finger he touched the Red Ranger with.
Davis: C'mon... c'mon, where are the sparks?
Black Ranger: We're sorry we attack you, yo. But we get a lot of monsters around here, word.
Yolei: Why are you *talking* like that?
Black Ranger: Because we're all so damn multi-cultural, peace out.
Daemon: My main man.
Daemon and the Black Ranger high-five, and then proceed to break dance.
A bunch of odd little men in grey suits and crap facemasks come bouncing out of the bushes, towards the Rangers, kids and Digimon.
T.K.: ...the hell are those?
Silver Ranger: They're Rita and Lord Zedd's Putties!
Kari: Back up there... I'm almost CERTAIN you were the WHITE Ranger just a little while ago...
Silver Ranger: Don't be ridiculous.
A Puttie jumps on top of Tai, who remains standing, as it bounces all around his body.
Tai: How do I get rid of this thing?
Pink Ranger: Oh, that's easy, you just hit the Z on his chest.
Takato: Like this?
Takato reaches over and pushes the Z on the Puttie's chest.
The Puttie explodes.
Cody: Who the heck puts a self-destruct button on their most commonly used warriors?
(Lord Zedd might'a looked cool, but he wasn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, I'll tell ya...)
Meanwhile, the Putties attack the Rangers, and pin them all to the ground. The Rangers all over-gesture as they struggle to get up, performing some badly-acted choking noises.
Devimon: You gotta be kidding me.
Piedmon: I wanna try one, I wanna try one!
Piedmon walks over, and pokes the Puttie pinning the Blue Ranger on his Z. He explodes.
Piedmon: Is that fun, or is that FUN?
Cody pulls out his Kendo stick, and, whirling like a dervish, explodes five putties in less than a minute.
BlackWarGreymon stomps on one of the Putties, and yanks it's head off. Being only made of clay, it continues to babble.
Puttie's Head: Boobilly-OOBILLY!
BlackWarGreymon: I hear you, my brother... a being of artificiality... but does it have a heart...?
BlackWarGreymon reaches down, and pokes the Z, allowing the Puttie's body to explode.
BlackWarGreymon: Hmn, guess not. Ah well... to be like a Puttie...
A Puttie jumps through the air, and somersault, landing on Machinedramon's head. Machinedramon laughs, and reaches up, towards the Puttie.
Machinedramon reaches for the Z, as the Putty lashes out, and punches him on the head. Machinedramon laughs again...
...then groans and falls to bits.
Machinedramon's Head: You. Little. Bastard.
Machinedramon's Head flips over, pinning the Puttie and hitting the Z.
A few minutes later, and all the Putties are dispatched.
Puppetmon: Boy, that sure was fun, huh?!
MetalSeadramon: Mm-hmn... mnnsh... mmnfhh..
Piedmon: What's in your mouth?
MetalSeadramon sweatdrops and doesn't answer.
Piedmon: Are you eating bits of Puttie?
MetalSeadramon hangs his head in shame.
MetalSeadramon: Dey just taste so good...
Yellow Ranger: All right!
Black Ranger: Way to go!
Blue Ranger: Yeah! You beat them!
The Blue Ranger makes a fist and whirls his arms around a bit.
Davis: What's the deal with all that excessive gesturing, anyway?
Blue Ranger: I don't know what you're talking about.
The Blue Ranger shrugs, and his hand snaps up and slaps the Pink Ranger in the face.
The Red Ranger looks down at his wrist.
Red Ranger: Zordon is calling us to the Command Centre!
Joe: Gordon who?
The Rangers push their morphie-thingies, and turn into streams of single-coloured energy. They fly off into the sky.
The DigiDestined and Digimon stand around and tap their feet.
The Rangers reappear.
Yellow Ranger: Sorry about that.
The Rangers join hands with the DigiDestined and the smaller Digimon (as the really large ones wont fit into the Command Centre), and disappear again. The Censors, Jeff Nimoy, and the Henry/Willis interdimensional engine are likewise left behind.
Machinedramon's Head: Well. That's. Just. Freaking. Charming.
MetalSeadramon: Ya wanna play a game, or sumthin'?
Apocalymon: Works for me.
Machinedramon's Head: How. About. A. Nice. Jigsaw...?
- - -
In the Command Centre, the Rangers and the Digimon crew appear. Alpha-5 proceeds to freak out.
Alpha-5: Ay-yi-yi! Monsters in the Command Centre! Ay-yi-yi! AY-YI-YI-YIIIII!!!
Charlene: Hey - hot - stuff...
Alpha-5: *screeches to a halt* Well, hello there...
Joe: So where's this Gordon guy?
Zordon's face (such as it is) appears in his tube.
Zordon: Rangers... there is much evil at work.
Davis: DUDE! That guy, like, doesn't have a mouth!!
Zordon: I do too - it's just blurry.
Davis: You SO do not.
Red Ranger: What's the evil, Zordon?
The stupid picture-globe thing turns on, and images of Angel Grove are shown.
Zordon: Rita and Lord Zedd have learned of these interdimensional travellers, and believe them to be rivals in their conquest of the planet. They have created a new monster, and sent it to Earth to destroy them, and you, Rangers.
We see an image of the park, as a partially rebuilt Machinedramon, MetalSeadramon, Apocalymon, and the other big Digimon battle the monster, as the Censors cower behind some crates.
Zordon: This monster of unspeakable evil is known as...
We get a good look at the monster. It's a guy in a poorly made rubber chicken suit.
Zordon: ...CHICKEN-O-DOOM, THE ROOSTER OF DEATH!!
The Rangers all gasp.
Badly acted gasping, of course.
Yolei: It's a guy in a suit.
Zordon: Is not, is not.
Tai sticks his arm up.
Tai: Uh, I have a question... if it's there, where we just were... why'd you pull us here, and give it the time to get started smashing stuff up, instead of just leaving us there, to fight it when it first appeared?
Zordon: ...GET THE HELL OUT OF MY COMMAND CENTRE!!
- - -
Back in the park, Chicken-O-Doom is having a grand ol' time.
Chicken-O-Doom: Being a poorly designed monster and fighting in badly choreographed battles ROCKS!
There's a flash of light, and the Rangers, DigiDestined and Digimon are back.
All the Rangers jump at the chicken at once, performing ridiculous somersaults and spins. The chicken spins around, and a bunch of razor-sharp feathers shoot out from his wings, bringing the Rangers to the ground.
Daemon strides up to the chicken, and pimp-slaps him across the beak.
Daemon pimp-slaps him again, on the other side of his beak.
Terriermon: I really should be Gargomon to say this, but... that makes you his bitch, bitch!
Lopmon: Heh, you said 'bitch.'
Chicken-O-Doom roars (read: squawks) with fury, and moves to headbutt Daemon.
Daemon pokes him in the eyes.
- - -
On the moon...
Zedd: It would appear that our newest creature is not as skilled as we would like to have thought!
Finster: I told you that you couldn't rush art...
Zedd and Rita both turn and zap Finster, and then turn their attention back to the goings on below.
Zedd: I think we're going to have to... raise our ambitions a little!
Zedd gestures with his staff, which crackles with energy.
Zedd: Fine, fine... be my guest...
Rita laughs, and throws her staff out the window.
Zedd: I just had that replaced!
- - -
In the park, Rita's staff comes flying down from the sky, and imbeds itself in the ground.
LadyDevimon: Where did THAT come from?
Yellow Ranger: The moon.
Izzy: You expect me to believe that it flew all the way from the moon to Earth with no means of propulsion other than some Japanese Space Bitch's weak wrist?
Aquamarine Ranger: Hey, it happens every week or so...
Mummymon: Where'd that Silver guy go?
Aquamarine Ranger: Silver? Don't be ridiculous.
Rita (v/o): PowerOfEvilMakeMyMosterGrowYouFool!
The ground quakes, and Daemon stumbles backwards, as the Chicken-O-Doom squawks gleefully, and some bad, cheap camera work shows it from beneath, as it apparently balloons in size. It cackles, and stands amongst the buildings of Angel Grove.
Red Ranger: Uh-oh! We'd better call the Ninja Zords!
Pink Ranger: No, no, we can't do that. We're not Ninja this week, that's next week.
Red Ranger: I thought we were In Space next week.
Yellow Ranger: That was two weeks ago. We're not In Space again until next month.
Blue Ranger: *pulls out a pocket planner* I could have sworn we were Zeo then...
Black Ranger: No, foo', we were Zeo last week...
The Pink Ranger pulls out a mobile phone.
Pink Ranger: Hi... yeah, hi, Sandy? Can you check my calendar? What am I doing next week?
*muffled talking over phone*
Pink Ranger: Damn. Guys, we're Turbo next week.
Red Ranger: So... what are we this week, then?
Davis taps the Red Ranger on the shoulder.
Davis: Uh, dudes... Zords... cool and everything, but, uh... no.
Davis bends over and grabs the camera, moving it over. Chicken-O-Doom stands, exactly the same height, amidst a collection of cardboard boxes painted to look like buildings.
The chicken coughs nervously, and kicks one of the boxes for good measure.
The Rangers gasp (badly) in horror as the box falls over.
Red Ranger: He destroyed that building!
Blue Ranger: All those people...!
The DigiDestined blink, and look at each other.
The Rangers reach their hands into the sky, and call on their Zords. I'd name 'em, but I can't for the life of me remember what the black and pink ones were for this time period... so, anyway...
A bunch of guys in plastic suits jump out of the bushes and crawl along the ground on all fours.
Bad superimposition effects occur.
Red Ranger: Form the Megazord!
The five guys in suits walk off, and a guy walks in on two legs, in a boxy plastic robot suit.
The Rangers all jump towards the Megazord, and some wonky effects make it seem like they go inside it, when they really just walk off to the side and have coffee and doughnuts.
The Megazord whirls its sword, and lunges at the Chicken-O-Doom.
Matt: Should we do something...?
Tai: *shrugs* Don't see why not...
Sora sticks her foot out, and the chicken trips over it and falls on his back.
Myotismon and Piedmon then proceed to kick him until he cries.
BlackWarGreymon picks him up and shakes him really hard.
Daemon pimp-slaps him a few more times for good measure.
The Megazord then lifts its sword up high, a funny animated background appears as the stock footage sets in, and it swings it down on the chicken.
- - -
Lord Zedd: Drat! Drat! And Double Drat!
Rita (who's got her staff back now, strangely): AHHWeAreDefeatedAgainIt'sAllYourFaultYouFOOL! IHATETHEPOWERRANGERS!!
Goldar: Is anyone else in the mood for chicken wings?
- - -
In the Command Centre...
Zordon: Another excellent job, Rangers.
Red Ranger: Thank you, Zordon!
Tai: HEY! We did all the work!
Zordon: Yes, Rangers, you've really saved the day.
Izzy: Hey, has anyone seen Charlene?
Alpha-5 swaggers out of the broom closet, with a cigarette in his hand.
Charlene bounces out behind him.
Izzy: HOW COULD YOU?!
Charlene: Oh - relax. He - helped - me - learn - how - to - control - the - dimensional - energy - better. I - just - had - to - pay - him - back - that's - all...
Alpha-5: Who's the man now, Zordy-baby?
Alpha-5: Screw you and your stinkin' job, you big HEAD. I'm haulin' my chassis to Tijuana!
Zordon: ...leave NOW, before I get REALLY angry.
Tai: We wouldn't have it any other way.
The Rangers beam the DigiDestined and Digimon back to the park.
Censor Joe: *peeps out from behind a crate* Is it all over?
Censor Bob: Not that we were afraid, of course.
Censor Steve: It's just that... Nimoy was wondering, see.
Tai: Yeah, yeah, it's over...
The Red Ranger shakes Davis's hand.
Red Ranger: It's been great knowing you.
Davis: Wish I could say the same, dude.
Charlene snaps her cables onto Henry and Willis again.
Charlene: Bon - voyage!
Black Ranger: Catch you on the flip side!
Pink Ranger: See ya!
Yellow Ranger: Bye!
Blue Ranger: Hasta la vista!
Plaid Ranger: Farewell!
Izzy: I'm not even gonna ask...
The studio fades out again, sent flying through the dimensions.
- - -
Back on the moon again...
Goldar: Hey, I just thought of something... if this is the moon, how come we can all breathe?
Zedd and Rita look at Earth other.
Zedd & Rita: Uh...
All the villains die.
- - -
Narrator: And so it came to pass, that with the threat of evil gone from the galaxy, there was no longer any NEED for the Power Rangers.
In the park, the Power Rangers suddenly find their costumes have disappeared.
Narrator: With no evil, there was no purpose in having a force for good. And so, it came to pass... that the Power Rangers became hobos, living on the streets and eating out of dumpsters, hissing at small children if they walked to close to them.
The Mauve Ranger gnaws on some chicken bones in a trashcan.
Narrator: And the world was a happier place in which to live.
- - -
The studio soars through interdimensional space.
Davis: Y'know... I really think we made a difference back there.
Everyone is thrown from their feet. When they get back up, they look around, and find that they've landed again.
Izzy: What're you doing, Charlene?
Charlene: It - wasn't - my - fault...
Sora: What world are we in now?
The studio is now parked in front of a large hall. Snow lies on the ground outside, and on the hall's roof. Faint strains of Christmas music can be heard inside. The doors open, and a figure steps out.
Why... it's me! Chris!
Chris: Well, it's about time you got here.
Tai: Hey, this place looks familiar...
Joe: Weren't we here about this time last year?
Chris: Actually, it was about a month and a year ago...
Matt: Oh, no... you don't mean...?
Chris: Yep! Get into the dressing rooms and put on your tuxedoes and gowns... because it's almost time for - THE DIGI-AWARDS 2001!
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**GO TO: http://www.angelfire.com/anime2/digipedia/awards1.htm TO READ THE DIGI-AWARDS 2001 RIGHT THIS VERY MINUTE!!**
I'm not allowed to post them on FF.N, so instead, they're up on my website right now, and just waiting for you to read! It's Part Three of "Take Me To Another World," kids, but this time, the world is OURS!
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You could write a review now... or you could go read the awards and come back and write one! ^^
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