Disclaimer: I own neither Digimon nor Pokémon.


Oh, sod this. You know what you're here for. Let the mayhem commence!

- - -


"Take Me to Another World!" Part Seven

By Chris McFeely

With an extra-special tip of the hat to Pokemopolis, for making me appreciate Pokémon humour enough to write this. :)

- - -

Yolei: Aw, it's cute!

Takato: But what IS it?

Small Yellow Rodent: PIKA!!

Davis: Dude, it, like, talked.

Davis bends over, and it about the poke the rat on the nose, when...

Voice: Hey! Leave Pikachu alone!

Everyone turns and looks as a trio of kids, fairly similar in age to the DigiDestined, come running through the bushes and come to a halt in front of the group. A boy in a blue jacket and a red hat steps up.

Pikachu: Pi-pikachu!

Davis: Yo, hold up there, stumpy. I wasn't trying to hurt him or anythin'.

Ash: Sure you we--

Ash looks down, and sees Veemon standing by Davis's side.

Ash: Woah! What kind of Pokémon is THAT?

Ash whips out Dexter and points him at Veemon.

Dexter: No, data.

Ash spies Armadillomon, a few feet away.

Ash: Woah! What kind of Pokémon is THAT? *points Dexter at him*

Dexter: No, data.

Ash: What kind of Pokémon is THAT? *points Dexter at Gabumon*

Dexter: No, data.

It looks like realisation dawns on Ash for a second, but he's actually just dazed when he looks up and sees all the other Digimon behind the DigiDestined.

Ash: Woah! What kind of Pokémon are THOSE? *points Dexter at them*

Dexter: Listen, you, little, ass - none, of, them, are, Pokémon. Get, it?

Ash: WOAH! What kind of Pokémon is THAT?

Dexter: ...it's, a, ROCK.

Ash: Wow!

Ash hurls a Pokéball at the rock, and it is sucked inside it.

Ash: Woo-hoo! I caught a rock!

Dexter: *sigh* My, talents, are, wasted.

Charlene: I - know - what - you - mean.

Dexter: Well... hello, there, blue, eyes.

Charlene: *giggle*

Tai: Could we maybe speak to someone who, uh, talks sense?

A boy with spikey hair, wearing a green jacket, with his eyes firmly clamped shut, steps forward...

Brock: World's greatest Pokémon breeder, Brock, at your serviiii...

Brock spots LadyDevimon a few feet away, and suddenly zips over to her, and grabs her hands.

Brock: As I was about to say, I'm a great breeder, and I'm at *your* service for all your breeding needs.


LadyDevimon: Oh, cram it, dickwad.

Daemon: *fumes*

Brock: I don't care if you're a member of a criminal gang - you're only guilty of stealing my heart!

The third kid, a girl with red hair, wearing hot pants, seizes Brock's ear, and drags him away.

Misty: The only thing that's criminal around here are your pick-up lines.

Tai blinks a couple of times, and massages his forehead.

Tai: I think I have a headache coming on...

Ash: Woah! What kind of Pokémon is THAT?

- - -

Some distance away, amongst some bushes, a certain trio are spying on our heroes...

Jesse: *looking through binoculars* Looks like the twerps just ran into some new kinds of Pokémon!

James: New kinds of Pokémon?

Meowth: If we can steal dem for th' boss, we're sure to get a raise, an' a promotion, an' stuff.

James: I believe that I have concocted our most brilliant plan ever to catch these new Pokémon!

Meowth: What's da score, Jimbo?

James: Okay, well, first, we dig a hole.

Jesse and Meowth nod.

James: Then... they fall in the hole!

Jesse: Inspired!

James: Then... we steal Pikachu, and these new Pokémon, put them in a big sack, run off, then stop halfway down the road to eat lunch... WITHOUT covering our tracks or seeing to it that the twerps can't get out of the hole!

Jesse: There's no way we could possibly be caught!

James: Let's go!

Jesse and James pull out two shovels, and run off down the road.

Meowth: Sometimes, I wonder what I did ta desoive dis.

- - -

Tai: Uh, look...

Tai steps to the side as Ash runs past, and points a screaming Dexter at Mummymon.

Tai: ...is there anywhere around here where we could...

Tai moves to the right as Togepi bounces past, giggling insanely.

Tai: ...go to rest, maybe eat, and just get our bearings...?

Misty: We're just on our way to Generic City. There's a Pokémon Centre there, where you'll be able to unwind.

Devimon: Thank the Lord. *swats at Ash* Didn't your mother ever teach you it's rude to point?

Ash: Uhh...

Devimon: You know, your mother? Tall woman that was always around that you used to suck on?

Ash: My mom loves me.

Devimon: *sigh* This is gonna be a looooong fic...

Sora: So which way is this city?

Misty: Just follow us!

Misty and Brock start to walk off down the path.

Ash: Pokéball, go!


Machinedramon: Ow.

Machinedramon groans and falls to bits, and his right thigh is sucked inside the Pokéball.

Machinedramon: Hey. I. Need. That.

Piedmon: *sigh* Here we go again...

Piedmon, Myotismon, and a couple of random Devas start gathering up Machinedramon's pieces.

Sinduramon: *looks into the camera* We're just not worth the time to give a quirk to, so we just do this kinda shit in the background.

Izzy: *looks around* Hey... where's Charlene...?

Charlene and Dexter come bouncing out of a bush together, with their disk drives hanging open.

Charlene: What - IS - it?

Izzy clutches his heart and staggers.


Dexter: It's, go, time, baby.

Izzy and Dexter start circling, sizing each other up.

Charlene: Fighting - for - a - lady's - hand... how - romantic.

In the background, Puppetmon and Ash struggle over the Pokéball with Machinedramon's thigh in it.

Puppetmon: GIVE IT!

Ash: It's mine! I caught it fair and square!

Tai: Yep, a *definite* headache.


The bellow echoes through the forest, as Misty produces a gigantic mallet outta nowhere, and bludgeons the skulls of everyone who's pissing her off.

Puppetmon lies on the ground, dazed.

Puppetmon: Where the heck did she pull that outta?

Ash: You'd rather not know... it involves an awful lot of lubricant.

James's head appear around a tree trunk.

James: Did someone say "lubricant?"

Jesse's arm appears and grabs James, pulling him back out of view before anyone looks around.

Everyone gets up and dusts themselves off, as they get organised. Pikachu bounds up onto Ash's shoulder.

Pikachu: Pika-ka-chu!

Guilmon watches him, and looks at Takato.

Takato: ARGH!

Guilmon crushes Takato into the ground as he jumps on his shoulder.

Guilmon: Guilmon.

Terriermon: Hey, I can do that.

Terriermon jumps on Henry's head, and they all start walking off after everyone else.

Willis: Hey, Terriermon, remember when you used to do that with me?

Terriermon looks around.

Terriermon: Did you just hear something?

Lopmon is struggling in Suzie's grip.

Lopmon: Not *gack* a *wheeze* thing. *choke*

Willis: Oh, dear God, NO! NOT YOU TOO!

Terriermon: Must be the wind.

Ash: And now, it's on to Generic City!

- - -

Some way down the road...

Meowth: Hurry up, youse guys, I c'n here dem comin'!

Jesse and James finish up digging their hole, clamber out, and do that thing where they make it look like it's part of the road without covering it with leaves or anything that's never explained. Then they go and hide behind a bush.

By and by, the Digi-Crew and Poké-Pals come walking down the road. Yolei turns a Pokéball over in her hand.

Yolei: So you keep them in these little balls?

Misty nods.

Yolei: That must be weird for them.

Misty: They love it!

Psyduck pops out of her backpack.

Psyduck: Psy-aye-aye! Psy-aye-aye-duck!

Which roughly translates as: "Free! Free from that horrible metal prison!"

Misty: Return!

Psyduck: PSYYYYY!!

Translation: "Oh, dear God, it HURTS!"

Yolei: So why doesn't this one go in a ball? *points at Togepi*

Togepi's stubby little hands glow, and Yolei and Misty's eyes glaze over.

Togepi: You don't need to know why I don't go in a Pokéball.

Misty & Yolei: We don't need to know why you don't go in a Pokéball.

Misty and Yolei blink a few times, then look down at Togepi.

Togepi: Toge, toge!

Misty & Yolei: Cutie!

Brock prances along beside LadyDevimon.

Brock: I understand that you feel you work well as part of a group, but wouldn't you be interesting in working in a less crowded environment?

LadyDevimon: Damn right I would, junior. So quit crowding me.

LadyDevimon shoves Brock, who staggers backwards and bumps into Arukenimon, in her human mode.

Brock: Well, hello there. You know, I've always found experienced older women to be very attractive.

Mummymon: Try it, and I swear to God, I'll gut you like a fish.

Brock: ...I'll just be leaving now.

Meanwhile, up front...

Davis: So, what, you just walk around for most of the time, then when you come to city, you get these little guys to fight some other guy's little guys, and if you win you get a badge?

Ash: That's about the size of it.

Davis: So, how long's it take for you to get to a city?

Ash: *mutters* About three dozen episodes, this series...

Davis: What do you do all the time, then?

Ash: Well, trouble normally has a way of finding us... WARRGH!!


The ground collapses out from underneath the Poke-gang and the DigiDestined and Tamers, who all tumble down into a pit. The other Digimon characters peer down into the pit, when suddenly, there's a flash of light.

Da-da da-daaaaa...

Jesse: Prepare for trouble, it's found you again!

James: Make it double - no, triple! No, times it by ten!

Jesse: To protect the world from devastation!

James: To unite all people within our nation!

Jesse: To denounce the evils of truth and love!

James: To extend our reach to the stars above!

Jesse: Jesse!

James: James!

Jesse: Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!

James: Surrender now, or prepare to fight, fight, fight!

Meowth: Meowth! That's right!


Piedmon: Marvellous use of flair and colour. It gets a solid ten!

Myotismon: Though it doesn't make a lot of sense... they want to protect the world, and yet they want to denounce love and truth? There's somethin' out of balance there.

Ash: It's THEM again!

Misty: Is it ever anyone else?

Jesse: Ahoy down there, twerps and new twerps! We hope you like our new economy-size pit!

James: A large hole is very important when you want to pack in nicely!


Wobuffet: Wohhhh-buh-fet!

Daemon: Hey, should we, like, do something?

Makuramon: Eh, why bother?

Jesse, James and Meowth produce extending grabbers, which they use to seize all the kids' partner Digimon, as well as Pikachu.

Pikachu: CHUUUU!!!

Pikachu attempts to Thundershock the trio, to no avail.

Meowth: Sorry, Pikachu! These grabbers are shock proof!

They sling all the Digimon in a big ol' sack.

Pikachu: CHUUUUUU!!

Meowth: Sorry, Pikachu! That sack is shock proof!

James ties the sack up with a cord.


Meowth: Sorry, Pikachu! That cord is sh...

Jesse: *fwap*

Meowth: Ow! I wuz just makin' da point dat we've loined from SOME of our mistakes...

Jesse and James grab the sack.

Veemon: Let ush outta here!

The two villains look at each other.

Jesse: They talk?

James: They must be worth a fortune! Ta-ta, twerps!

Jesse: And thanks for the new Pokémon!

Dexter: They're, not, Pokémon, DAMMIT! Does, nobody, LISTEN?!

Jesse: Did you hear something, James?

James: Not a thing, Jesse.

Dexter: *seethe*

Willis: Welcome to my world.

Dexter: Who, said, that?

Team Rocket leap into their balloon, and float off really slowly, giggling like schoolchildren.

Ryo: Lo! The villains abscond with our partners!

Ash: We've got to get out of here!

Ash runs at the wall of the pit, makes it up the side about three feet, and then falls back flat on his back. He gets up, and repeats the process.

Daemon: Yo.

On the other side of the pit, Daemon grabs Sandiramon and lowers him down into the pit. As Ash continues to run at the other wall, everyone clambers up Sandiramon. Everyone stands around for about ten minutes, as Ash finally manages to haul himself up over the other side of the pit.

Davis: We've got to go after those guys!

Ash: Heracross, I choose you!

Ash hurls a Pokéball, and Heracross pops out.

Ash: I'll fly after them on Heracross, and you guys can...

Heracross is currently in the middle of humping BlackWarGreymon's leg.

BlackWarGreymon: Affection is lost on me.

Henry: Wise man once say, solution is under nose, which you should be following.

Henry holds up his Digivice.

Takato: We can use our Digivices to track Guilmon and our partners - and where they are, your partners are!

Tai: Hey, good work! *pats Takato on the back*

Takato: *thinks* He's TOUCHING me...

Takato faints. Joe attempts to wake him up.

Ken: I don't think they're in any danger... they can talk care of themselves. They're probably giving those losers a hard time of it right now!

Cut to the interior of the sack.

Wormmon: Got any threes?

Monodramon: Go fish!

Cut back.

Takato rubs his head, and then looks down at his Digivice.

Takato: This way! Follow me!

Brock: The Onix express is now leaving the station!

Brock hurls a Pokéball, and Onix pops out.


Cody: How come this one doesn't say his name?

Brock: Less talk, you.

Everyone climbs onto Onix, with Takato sitting up front. With another ga-roooar, it thunders off after Team Rocket.

- - -


James: Preparing to put phase two into action!

James makes some sandwiches and puts them into a basket.

Jesse: Did you cut the crusts off?

James: Heaven forfend! I like it when I get something nice and hard down my throat!

Wobuffet: Wohhhh-buh-FET!

Meowth: Hey, guys, don'tcha t'ink we oughta check in wit' da boss first?

James: Capital idea!

Jesse produces a small communicator, and in a few seconds, Giovanni's face appears on its tiny screen.

Giovanni: What do you bunglers want now?

Jesse: We've got good news for once, boss! We caught Pikachu - AND some new Pokémon! Look!

James unlaces the cord on the sack, and opens it a bit, as Jesse holds out the communicator, allowing Giovanni to see inside.

Giovanni: Pfah! Look at them, they're pathetic! I'll bet they don't have any strength at all!

Gomamon: Your mother.

Giovanni: RRRGH!! You two, take them and make them battle - see to it that they evolve! I need strong and powerful Pokémon, not these weak little things!

Jesse: Uh, yes boss...

James: Right away, boss!

Giovanni signs off, and Jesse and James hold each other and start to cry.

James: *blubbers* Even when we do something right, it's wrong!

Jesse: How are we supposed to make so many Pokémon evolve?

Veemon: Ah... 'scuse me?

Meowth: Whaddaya want, blue boy?

Veemon: Well, it'sh jusht that... I know a quick way you can make ush evolve...

Veemon winks at the collective other Digimon. They all grin.

Jesse: We're listening...

Veemon: Y'shee, our partnersh have... uh... shpecial shtones... and they'll make ush evolve.

Agumon: Yep.

Gatomon: Mm-hmn.

Armadillomon: Special stones.

Tentomon: That's right.

Pikachu: Chuuu.

Jesse: Well... it sounds like we have one more thing to steal, then, doesn't it!

James: We can set a trap for them ahead! To Generic City!

- - -

Takato shakes his Digivice.

Takato: That's weird... they're moving another way.

Rika: Who the hell cares?! Tell this hunk of crap to move faster, dickweed.

Brock: While it's obvious that what you're really doing here is coming on to me, I think it's only fair to tell you that you're a little young for my tastes.

Rika: ...

Brock: No, no, don't say anything. Just... leave me be.

Rika lifts an eyebrow, and crawls backwards along Onix's body, away from Brock, rather quickly.

Further down, Izzy sits with his arms and legs crossed, sulking.

Charlene: Oh - get - over - yourself.

Izzy: I don't know where we stand in this relationship sometimes, Charlene, really, I don't.

Charlene: You're - my - bitch. Duh.

Dexter: You, tell, him, sweet, thing.

Izzy: Be quiet, you!

Dexter: Why, don't, you, make, me?

Izzy and Dexter begin grappling.

Misty: Staryu, go! Water gun!

Staryu pops out, and douses Izzy and Dexter with his water gun.

Izzy: Glrrrrbllle!

Dexter: System, error... file, not, found... Gllxxxx... brrzzzt...

Dexter sparks and flops onto his back.

Charlene: Well - that's - just - great. How - am - I - supposed - to - get - any - now?

Izzy: We are SO over.

Charlene: Fine - with - me. You - were - dragging - me - down - anyway.

Charlene and Izzy turn their backs to each other.

Misty: It's sad that you fight so much, 'cause it's really obvious you like each other a lot...

Ash: Hey, Misty...


Back down some more...

Suzie: I hope Wopmon is all wight...

Kenta: I'm sure he's fine...

Suzie: She! Chocowate bunny is a girl!

Kenta: Whatever. Geez, it's at times like this that I'm glad the author hasn't bothered to team us up with our partners yet, huh, guys?

Kazu and Jeri nod.

Kazu: Here, play with this until we get your bunny back.


Chatsuramon: Awp! Not again...!

Suzie pounces on Chatsuramon.

Suzie: I want to wove him, and hug him, and pet him, and call him George!

Back down even further...

Etemon: *into camera* Hey, what are y'all doin' down here? This is just where everyone who's not goin' ta do anythin' this fic is sittin'.

Oh, right, sorry.

Etemon: A'course, Ah never do anything anyway. Let me sing y'all a little song about it...

The camera hastily zips back up to the front of Onix.

Etemon (v/o): Ah, dang.

Takato: I think we're getting closer...

Ash: Look! *points* We're coming to Generic City!

- - -

In the Generic City Pokémon Centre...

Nurse Joy: Boy, sure is another nice, normal, slow day here in Generic City.


Jesse and James tackle Nurse Joy, tie her up and gag her, and throw her in a closet.

Meowth: Will everyone please stop sayin' "Generic City" so much?

- - -

Brock: Well, here we are in Generic City!

Meowth's head appears around the Pokémon Centre door.

Meowth: What did I just SAY?!

James's hand appears and yanks Meowth back out of view.

Ash: The Pokémon Centre's over there... let's go see if they're seen any sign of Team Rocket!

T.K.: You Digimon stay out here and keep an eye out... we'll just go in alone. Don't want to give anyone that's in there a nasty surprise.

Daemon: You callin' me ugly, boy?

Kari yanks T.K. away before anything else happens, and the Poke-crew, DigiDestined and Tamers enter the Pokémon Centre.

The camera pans over the reception area, and settles on the figure of what is apparently Nurse Joy, behind the desk.

Ash: Excuse me, miss, but we were wondering...

Davis: Dude. It's a mask.

"Nurse Joy": ...don't be ridiculous, young man.

Ken: No, seriously. She's that red-headed woman.

Brock: I think I would know if she was Jesse or not, and she's not Jesse, because my Nurse Joy sense is tingling!

Brock zips up to the front desk and grabs "Nurse Joy's" hand.

Brock: We were wondering, would you be able to help us? We're searching for Team Rocket... have you seen them? One is a remarkably flamboyant guy, and the other is a woman with long hair, whose appearance can't even begin to compare to your radiant beauty.

"Nurse Joy": *twitches* Well... now... I think we had some people like that come in not too long ago... they had a lot of strange Pokémon with them that they wanted examined.

Tai: "Examined?" Those BASTARDS! I'll bet their poking about inside of Agumon right now!

"Nurse Joy": If you'd all like to come this way, I'm sure we can sort this out...

The angry throng of DigiDestined and Tamer move in the direction indicated, when suddenly...


Tai looks up, and sees that he's passed through a metal detector.

"Nurse Joy": Please place any metal objects in the tray, sir.

Tai, in a hurry to get through, tosses his Digivice into the tray. The others plough through, doing the same.

They run on down the corridor, only to discover...

Ash: It's a dead-end!


Jesse: It's a dead-end, and you're in trouble!

James: Our number of thefts has just been doubled!

Jesse: To protect the world from devastation!

James: To unite all peoples within our nation!

Jesse: To denounce the evils of truth and love!

James: To extend our reach to the stars above!

Jesse holds up a sack containing the Digivices.

Jesse: Jesse!

James hefts in the sack holding the Digimon and Pikachu.

James: James!

Jesse: Team Rocket, blast off at the speed of light!

James: Surrender now, or prepare to fight!

Meowth: Meowth! That's right!

Wobuffet: Wohhhh-buh-fet!

Ash: Team Rocket!

Rika: No shiiiiit.

Jesse: Ha-ha-ha-ha! Now we've got your Pokémon, and these handy little gadgets!

James: We'll make them evolve, and the boss will finally see that we're really great!

Brock: But... I... Nurse Joy... and... you?

Meowth cackles and opens the closet, where Nurse Joy sits, tied up, with a fan behind her, on full power. Brock inhales the smell that's being wafted into his face.

Meowth: You might say, we tricked a fan with a fan!

Wobuffet: Wohhhh-buh-FET!

Brock: Devious so-and-sos.

James up-ends the sack of Digimon, who have all been individually tied up, and they all spill out onto the floor. Pikachu is the last to fall out.

Tai: Agumon!

Ash: Pikachu!

Jesse: Now, let's see here...

Jesse rummages around in the sack of Digivices, and pulls out Davis's D-3. She presses it against Agumon's head.

James: Normally, stimulating the head is all I require, but it's not working!

Jesse swears and throws the Digivice back into the sack.

Jesse: Tell us how these work, or your Pokémon get it!

Dexter: They're, NOT, POKÉMON!

Ken: We're not going to tell you anything!

Tai: No, no, wait... *whispers something to Davis*

James: What are you whispering about, twerp?

Davis: Okay, okay... I'll show you how they work.

Everyone gasps.

Yolei: Davis! You're selling us out?!

Meowth: He just knows who the winnin' team is!

Davis carefully walks up to Team Rocket, and reaches into the sack.

Jesse: Don't try anything funny, goggle-head.

Davis: Well, a funny thing happened to me on the way to this dimension...

Jesse and James glare.

Davis: Woah, okay, geez. Some dudes have no sense of humour.

Davis pulls his D-3 out of the sack.

Davis: Ready, Veemon?

Veemon: You betcha!

Davis and Veemon grin, and Jesse, James and Meowth grin along with them, completely oblivious.


Davis's Digivice flares to life.

Veemon: Veemon, Digivolve to...!

Jesse: It's working!

ExVeemon: ...EXVEEMON!

Veemon's bonds snap as he Digivolves, and ExVeemon flexes his arms.

James: It worked!

Jesse and James pause and look up at ExVeemon, towering over them.

Jesse: I think we may have made a teensy miscalculation, James.

James: I do believe you may be correct, Jesse.

ExVeemon: VEE LASER!


The side of the Pokémon Centre explodes, as Jesse, James and Meowth are blasted through it. Everyone else standing outside the centre rushes around to see what happened. Jesse is still holding the sack of Digivices.

Davis and ExVeemon climb over the rubble of the wall, and the other DD and Tamers follow, having freed their Digimon from their bonds. Ash, Pikachu, Misty and Brock step forward as well.

Jesse: We've still got your gizmos, twerps!

Piedmon leaps forward and plunges his sword into the sack, twirling it and wresting it from Jesse's grip. He hurls it back through the air, and the Digivices spill out of the slash in the side.

James: He stuck it in right up to the hilt!

Wobuffet: Wohhhh-BUH-FET!

The kids catch their Digivices.

Takato: Now, let's show you what WE can do!

The Tamers Digivices flare into life.

Guilmon: Guilmon, Bio-Merge to...

Renamon: Renamon, Bio-Merge to...

Terriermon: Terriermon, Bio Merge to...

Censor Joe slaps his hands over his eyes. Censor Bob slaps his hands over his ears. Censor Steve slaps his hands over his mouth.

Censors: THEY'RE NAKED!!

Gallantmon: ...GALLANTMON!

Sakuyamon: ...SAKUYAMON!

MegaGargomon: ...MEGAGARGOMON!

Willis: He never Digivolved to Mega for ME...

MegaGargomon: There's that *noise* again... what IS that?

The three Mega Digimon charge towards Team Rocket, who scream, as that ever-so-nifty Pokémon battle music starts.

Jesse: I chose you! Do something!

Jesse kicks Wobuffet out into the path of the oncoming Megas. He glows red, using Deflect, and Gallantmon's lance glances off him, hurling him back through the air. MegaGargomon's missiles bounce off and shoot back at him, and he and Sakuyamon are only just able to dodge.

Ken: Let's give them a little back up!

Armadillomon: Armadillomon, Digivolve to... Ankylomon!

Patamon: Patamon, Digivolve to... Angemon!

Both: DNA Digivolve to... SHAKKOUMON!

Hawkmon: Hawkmon, Digivolve to... Aquilamon!

Gatomon & Aquilamon: DNA Digivolve to... SILPHYMON!

Wormmon: Wormmon, Armour Digivolve to... FanFictiomon! The Product of Imagination!

(Betcha never thought you'd see him again!)

Jesse: Go, Arbok!

James: Weezing, I choose you!

The two Pokémon pop out.

James: Blind them with a smog attack, Weezing!

Weezing: Weeeeeeeze.

Weezing belches out a mass of smog, but Shakkoumon absorbs it all, as Silphymon knocks Weezing aside with a Static Force.

Jesse: Arbok! Poison Sting!

Arbok: Chhaaaabok!

FanFictiomon teleports into the path of the attack, and it rattles against his armour, pushing him back.

Ash: Let's help them! Heracross, Bulbasaur, Chikorita, I choose you!

Heracross pops out and proceeds to hump Tentomon.

Tentomon: Well, at least you're not a cantaloupe.

Every looks at Tentomon.

Tentomon: Er... I mean... Get it off! Get it off!

Ash: Bulbasaur, Chikorita - Vine Whip!

The two Pokémon lash their whips out and restrain Arbok, as FanFictiomon and ExVeemon leap up simultaneously and kick him square in the face.

The other non-DD Digimon sit on the ground and munch popcorn.

Myotismon: Well, I must say, this is remarkably entertaining.

Machinedramon's Head: Indubitably.

Piedmon: That blue-haired fellow is my kind of man.

Meowth leaps into the fray, lunging for Chikorita and Bulbasaur.

Misty: Go, Poliwhirl! Use your Water Gun!

Poliwhirl appears, and blasts Meowth with his Water Gun.

Gomamon: Marching Fishes!

Gomamon's Marching Fishes materialise out of Poliwhirl's water blast, and splatter against Meowth.

James: Victribell, go!

Victribell: *shrieks and eats James*

James: Normally, I don't mind a good munching, but now is not the time!

Wobuffet: Wohhhh-buh-fet!

Momentarily distracted, Wobuffet's concentration slips, and Sakuyamon strikes him with her staff, knocking him back into James and Victribell.

Brock: Golbat, go! Supersonic!

Golbat appears, and uses its Supersonic on Arbok. Arbok's eyes rolls back into its head, and it collapses on the ground.

FanFictiomon: Author Alert!

FanFictiomon nails Arbok with a final punch.

Jesse: You'll pay for that, twerp!

Ash: Go, rock! I choose you!

Ash hurls a Pokéball, and the rock he caught earlier appears, and beans Jesse right in the forehead.

Ash: All right! Yay rock!

Dexter: Well, I'll, be, damned.

Tai: I think it's about time to end this. Matt?

Matt: I'd be happy to.

Agumon and Gabumon glow, and morph together, forming...

Omnimon: ...OMNIMON!!

Team Rocket quiver, as Omnimon points his Supreme Cannon at them and their defeated Pokémon. Pikachu leaps up onto Omnimon's shoulder, and grins his evil little grin.


Ash: Thunderbolt!



Jesse, James and all their Pokémon sail up into the air.

Jesse: The boss isn't going to be happy about this...

James: Well, we'll just tell him they weren't Pokémon after all.

Meowth: Dem new twoips are as bad as da old ones!

Jesse: But it's still the same old exit...

All: Looks like Team Rocket's blasting off again!

Wobuffet: Wohhhh-BUH-FET!


- - -

A little later...

Officer Jenny: Well, seems everything's in order here.

Nurse Joy: But you just got here. What about that big hole in my wall?

Officer Jenny: Eh...

Tai and Ash shake hands.

Tai: Nice doing business with you, Ash. You've got some powerful little guys in your world.

Ash: You fight a great battle too, uh.. what was your name, again?

Tai: Tai.

Ash: ...

Tai: ...

Ash: ...who are you, again?

Misty: That's our Ash!


Tai: ...but seriously... we're stuck here. We've got no way to get home, and no one to help us...

Davis: I'll bet if Azulongmon were here, he could think of something.

Cut to:

Azulongmon: What, you call this writing? I could write better with my feet - and I don't got any!


*canned laughter*

Chris: Shut up, shut up, SHUT UP!!

Cut back.

Ash: I think I know someone who could help...

- - -

Mrs. Ketchum (v/o, off screen): Slam it to me hard, Oaky!

Phone: Ring-ring-ring, ring-ring-ring, phone call! Ring-ring-ring, ring-ring-ring, phone call!

Professor Oak staggers into shot, doing up his pants.

Oak: Of all the circuit-glitch, diode-blowing, cam-digging, grill-cracking... *turns on the phone* ...what?!

Ash and co. appear on screen.

Oak: Oh! Ah... er... Ash, my boy! What can I do for you?

Misty leans into the picture.

Misty: Well, professor, we've met some friends, and they need your help to get home.

Oak: You don't say. Where are they from?

Brock: Another dimension.

Oak: Fascinating! I believe I can...

Mrs. Ketchum (v/o, off screen): Oh, Oaaaaky... I'm getting loooonely...

Ash: Is that my mom? What's she doing there?

Oak: Er... uh... you see... um... I tore my pants... and... uh... she came over to... uhm... sew them up for me. Yes, that's it.

Ash: Oh, right. So, can you help our friends?

Oak: Let me get back to you on that.


- - -

Ash: Huh. Musta been a really big tear in his pants if he had to get back to it that fast.

Tai: What'd he say?

Misty: He's going to look into it.

Sora: Great. Although, we have no place to stay while we wait...

Nurse Joy: You can stay at the Pokémon Centre.

Matt: But we don't have any money.

Officer Jenny: You don't need money to stay in a Pokémon centre, silly.

Ken: Free room and board?

Nurse Joy: And food, and medicine, and...


Nurse Joy: ...I've really got to rethink my business policies.

Brock: Nonsense! I'm sure your ideas are all perfectly sound ones. And speaking of good decisions, I think you've made a great one in allowing our friends to stay here. Would you care to make another, and accompany me to dinner...?

Nurse Joy: Uh...

LadyDevimon: Oh, so, I was just some piece of MEAT to you, was I? Was that it? Huh? WAS IT?

SkullSatamon and MarineDevimon look at each other, then pick up LadyDevimon by the arms and carry her off.

Charlene: Well... that - was - eventful. Wanna - get - freaky?

Dexter: Delighted.

- - -

Out in the forest, Team Rocket are strewn amongst the branches of a tree.

Jesse: Ohhh... that was one of our better landings...

James: Any landing you can walk away from...

Meowth: We ain't walkin' anywhere right now...

Abruptly, a strand of greyish goop shoots in from the side, and splatters over James's face.

James: Bleargh! *spits* Normally, I don't mind swallowing the sticky stuff that gets shot into my mouth, but this is ridiculous!

Voice (v/o): Sorry about that, pal.

The camera pans over, revealing a guy in red and blue tights sitting in the next tree over.

Jesse: And just WHO are YOU supposed to be?!

Guy in tights: Just your friendly neighbourhood Spider-Man, ma'am.

Spider-Man fires off another web line, which hits the tree trunk beside James, and he swings off out of view.

Jesse and James are silent, as they simply watch him go, then turn and look at each other, then look back in the direction he went.


- - -

Uh-oh... he's not supposed to be there! Of course, it's:


What's going on? Well, you know it can't be anything good! Reality is coming undone - and if the Pokémon and Digimon crew want to stop it before it's too late, it's going to require an act of bravery and one final sacrifice of shocking proportions! Tune in next time for:


The final senses-shattering chapter of "Take Me to Another World!" Miss it, and you miss out!

- - -