Disclaimer: I do not own Digimon, but the Fantom is my
character. Underneath the mask, though, could be a different
This fic follows on from "Look! No Hands!" and "The Big Comeback Special!"
It's "glorious chaos!" The D-Reaper has been reborn through Jeri's puppet, thanks to the machinations of a new FOX Kids Fantom! But who is beneath the mask this time? And what does he have planned? Read on!
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"ALWAYS ROOM FOR JELL-O!"
"Reap What You Sow," Part Three
By Chris McFeely
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The Fantom spreads his arms out, standing on the walkway of chaos above the assembled group below.
Fantom: That's right, kiddies - - THE FOX KIDS FANTOM IS *BACK*!
Takato: The HUH?!
Fantom: Ah, one who is not aware of my glory. Philistine.
Izzy: Is that you in there, Nimoy?!
Fantom: Oh, my goodness, no. Not this time.
Fantom: I'm afraid not, my friend - you won't find the face of a Nimoy beneath THIS mask!
As the Fantom postures, Guilmon's eyes do the crazy thing.
Guilmon: PYRO SPHERE!
The fire ball rockets towards the Fantom, who swiftly sidesteps. He rearranges his attire.
Tentomon: He's got the old Fantom's moves...
The Fantom waves his hand, and a stream of chaos lances out of the D-Reaper's mass, and blasts Guilmon across the street.
Takato & Jeri: Guilmon!
They rush to help Guilmon, who's dazed but not too seriously hurt, as Izzy looks from them back up at the Fantom.
Tentomon: Woah, that's a new one.
Izzy: How... did you...?
Fantom: Oh, a simple command. It's easy when you know how.
He makes a few more hand gestures, and a Searcher Agent flits out of the chaos. It flies around Izzy, staring at him with its observant eyes, as he tries to swat at it but misses.
Fantom: Ohhh, are we a little sad? Missing something... someone?
Izzy: SHUT UP!
The searcher arcs away from Izzy and melts back into the chaos.
Fantom: *huffs* Well, now, that wasn't very nice. You're rude. I don't think I want to talk to you anymore.
The Fantom spins on his heel, his cape swirling, as he walks back up the chaos walkway, which melts away behind him. He re-enters the Kernel Sphere, which shuts, and disappears back into the mass chaos again.
Yamaki: What... WAS that?
Tentomon: That, my good sir, was a serious piece of bad news.
Izzy is a little disoriented.
Izzy: It's a guise... another identity... always... to hide... someone else... different... can't be Nimoy... he didn't know... about... Charlene...
Takato and Guilmon walk back over, Takato supporting his partner a little.
Takato: So, who IS he, then?
Before anyone can say anything more, the chaos surges, and a swarm of Horn Strikers, Bubbles, Pendulum Feet and a Creep Hands burst out of it and charge at them.
Tentomon: OH YEAH?!
The Digimon line up as Digivices flare.
Guilmon: Guilmon, Biomerge to... Gallantmon!
Terriermon: Terriermon, Biomerge to... MegaGargomon!
Tentomon: I want to do that. Why can't we do that? I want to DO that!
Izzy: Just shut up and Digivolve, would you?
Tentomon: 'kay. Tentomon, Digivolve to... Kabuterimon! Kabuterimon, Digivolve to... MegaKabuterimon!
Gallantmon spears a Horn Striker, as MegaGargomon unleashes a volley of blasts on a group of Bubbles.
MegaKabuterimon: HORN BUSTER!
The Creep Hands erupts in a shower of chaos, just as it was reaching for MegaKabuterimon.
MegaKabuterimon: Man, these things are weak-ass.
MegaGargomon: MEGA BARRAGE!
MegaKabuterimon looks around as a Pendulum Feet - right behind him with a scythe raised - explodes and splatters over him.
MegaKabuterimon: Ewww, grossgrossgross...
MegaGargomon: (Terriermon) Oh, fine, DON'T say thank you. (Henry) The biggest thank yous are the ones that go unsaid. (Terriermon) That doesn't even make any SENSE!
The D-Reaper mass writhes around.
D-Reaper: We do as the master commands! LEAVE! LEAVE THIS PLACE!
An Optimizer rises from the chaos, seizes the Digimon, and hurls them into the ground. In a flash of light, Ryo and Cyberdramon, who have been holding back, merge into Justimon and leap over the tangle of Digimon, launching energy blasts at the Optimizer.
Justimon: Tan-tan-ta-RAA! JUSTICE BURST!
The Optimizer explodes as energy bolts rain down on it.
Justimon: Another victory! TA-DA!
Justimon strikes a pose as the other Digimon get up. The remaining Agents hover in the sky some distance away.
Janyu: Why... why aren't they attacking?
Izzy: I think... they... it... just... wants us to... leave?
Tally: RED ALERT!
Yamaki: No it's not!
Tally: If she wants to say it, let her. Don't oppress her, pig.
Yamaki: Oh, for the love of...
Janyu: Look, let's just try what the boy says, okay?
Yamaki flicks his lighter.
Yamaki: Fine. *yells* EVERYONE, FALL BACK!
Gallantmon picks up Jeri, who's now shivering.
Gallantmon: Follow me!
Gallantmon bound off over the rooftops as the other Digimon fly behind him, and the Hypnos operatives, Janyu and Izzy beat feet.
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A little later, in the Hypnos temporary base that they used the LAST time this happened... Yamaki stares out of the window, looking through binoculars at the D-Reaper mass.
Yamaki: You were right. It's not spreading at all... it's entirely confining itself to the area around the Hypnos building. But... why?
Yamaki calmly leans to the side as an empty soda can sails past his head.
Rika: Who CARES?! I want to HIT SOMETHING!
Rika seethes as Kazu and Kenta back away from her. Kazu turns to Takato.
Kazu: Dude, I cannot *believe* you called us in for this.
Takato: We needed *everyone*!
Suzie: Bad jell-o! Needs some ice-cweam! Ice-cweam tastes GWEAT!
Henry: Indeed, old tale says villains always get just desserts.
Janyu: I'm sure they do, son. I'm sure they do.
Leomon: Fear not! We'll stop this vile thing, in the name of honour!
Kazu and Takato look up at Leomon.
Kazu: Dude, aren't you dead? The shrimp?
Takato: No, man, it was a heart attack, I saw it myself.
Leomon: I haven't got a clue what either of you are talking about...
Leomon breaks out in a nervous sweat, gets dehydrated and dies.
Kazu: There it goes.
Izzy stands in front of everyone and clears his throat.
Izzy: All right, now, listen up, everyone. It seems to me that there must be a reason for the fact that the Fantom has not allowed the D-Reaper to spread. Can anyone think why?
Takato: He's biding his time?
Henry: Advice of wise man?
Rika: He's a complete and utter dickwad?
Kenta: Uh... maybe he... uhm... doesn't want to hurt anyone?
Suzie: HE WANTS SOME CHOCOWATE!
Ryo: He knows that my goodness shall be his ultimate downfall, strike a pose?
Izzy massages his forehead.
Tentomon: It's gonna be a long day...
Janyu: Er... perhaps his control over the D-Reaper is not as full as he'd like, and he's not having it spread too far, too fast, in case he loses control of it?
Izzy: Yes, those were my thoughts, exactly, sir. Everyone get that?
Kazu looks up from picking his nose.
Kazu: Huh...? Sorry, did you start already?
Izzy reaches for a large blunt object, when...
Tally: RED ALERT!
Everyone turns in the direction Guardromon is looking, out a window, as a squadron of army helicopters flies by overhead, and a convoy of trucks drive up the road, all heading for the D-Reaper.
Yamaki: Oh, crap.
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Very soon, a line of trucks is barricading the area around the Hypnos building. One especially large, armoured truck stands out from the others. A man wearing a general's uniform stares up the chaos blob, and rubs his chin. A private rushes up to him.
Private: General Confusion, sir!
General Confusion: Huh? Wha?
Private: *salutes* Black ops agents and related civilians wish permission to confer with you, sir!
General Confusion: Very well, very well.
Yamaki, Izzy, Tentomon and the Tamers stride up.
Yamaki: *notably doesn't salute* Yamaki, Mitsuo, agent of covert Hypnos organisation.
General Confusion: Oh, yes, I recognise you... Hypnos, eh, yeah, that thing that was on the news a while back.
Yamaki: Indeed. General, I must implore you not to do anything rash.
Izzy points at the D-Reaper.
Izzy: That being is under the control of a madman!
The Fantom pokes his head out of the Kernel Sphere and yells down.
Fantom: I resemble that remark, nerd-boy!
General Confusion: Well, now, don't worry your spiky little head, son. We have a team of operatives getting ready to initiate an attack as we speak.
Rika: THOSE operatives?
Everyone follows Rika's gaze, and see a team of soldiers curled in the fetal position as a Searcher floats in front of them.
Soldier: *whimpers* It's staring at me! Make it stop!
General Confusion: That's right, little lady. That's them! Best men I have!
Ryo: Good sir, allow us the honour of making the first strike. We shall crush yonder fiend beneath the booted heel of goodness!
General Confusion: I don't know what you just said - but I LIKE it!
Kazu: Heh, heh, dude, Ryo is sooo cool.
Kenta: Huh, huh, yeah, dude, huh, huh, he's awesome.
Kazu: Heh, heh, you said "awesome," heh, heh.
Guardromon: That is SO demeaning...
MarineAngemon: Want... renew... contract.
Takato: Well, let's go!
Digivices flare once more!
Tamers: BIOMERGE ACTIVATE!
Guilmon: Guilmon, Biomerge to... Gallantmon!
Terriermon: Terriermon, Biomerge to... MegaGargomon!
Renamon: Renamon, Biomerge to... Sakuyamon!
Cyberdramon: Cyberdramon, Biomerge to... Justimon!
Lopmon: Lopmon, Digivolve to... Antylamon!
The Digimon prepare to attack - then MegaGargomon notices that Antylamon is wearing his "Deva" outfit, as opposed to his "movie" outfit, which he's always worn before.
MegaGargomon: *snickers* Hey, bro, I like the new threads.
Antylamon: The kid makes me wear them, okay?!
Suzie: PRETTY BUNNY!
Tentomon: Yeah, so, uh, I'll just hang back here and cover the rear, okay?
Izzy: Perhaps we can formulate a strategy while you engage the D-Reaper.
General Confusion: I just hope we won't have to initiate... the plan.
The general nervously looks over the armoured truck, as it sways ever so slightly - something alive moves around within it.
MegaGargomon: Less talk, more action! GARGO MISSILE!
The missiles plough into the chaos, and a small portion of the D-Reaper explodes, as globules of chaos spray outward.
The Kernel Sphere rises again, and the Fantom appears from within it.
Fantom: Are you deaf? I told you all to LEAVE! I don't NEED to fight you!
Gallantmon: LIGHTNING JOUST!
The Fantom ducks and rolls as the energy beam streaks past.
Fantom: I MEAN it! Get out of here! This will all be over soon!
General Confusion watches from below.
General Confusion: Men, activate contingency plan! Yell at it!
The soldiers line up.
Soldier #1: Hey, stupid!
Soldier #2: Smelly-face!
Soldier #3: Doody-head!
Yamaki, Izzy and Janyu sweatdrop.
Izzy: You haven't been with the military very long, have you, general?
General Confusion: Shucks, mah daddy said no one would be able to tell.
Beneath his mask, the Fantom blinks in numb surprise.
Fantom: You gotta be kidding me.
Soldier #3: *repeats himself* DOODY-HEAD!
Fantom: Oh, yeah?
The Fantom makes a couple of gestures, the chaos swells... and from it, a NEW Agent emerges! A gelatinous, eel-like creature, with it's tongue permanently protruding from it's mouth, and a pair of hands stuck in it's ears.
Fantom: Now THIS... is a Doody-Head! With the power to have insults bounce off of it and stick to you!
The soldiers all reel and stagger around.
General Confusion: My GOD! The insults are returned to the power of infinity plus one!
Guardromon: This is *ridiculous.* GUARDIAN BARRAGE!
Guardromon's missiles whistle through the air and explode just in front of the Doody-Head, which is unharmed.
Fantom: Can't hurt him, has a forcefield!
MegaGargomon: POWER PUMMEL!
As MegaGargomon pounds on the forcefield, Gallantmon turns to Sakuyamon.
Gallantmon: Sakuyamon, do you have a spell that can bring the forcefield down?
Sakuyamon: Not a problem.
Sakuyamon whirls around, and swings her staff.
Sakuyamon: There once was a girl from Nantucket...
Gallantmon: A *different* spell.
Sakuyamon: Sorry, no can do.
Suzie: Antywamon! Twy the new twick I taught you!
Antylamon: *sigh* Fine, fine...
Antylamon morphs his hands into axe blades.
Antylamon: You really have no idea how much this hurts. BUNNY BLADES!
Antylamon lunges at the Doody-Head, heading for its life cord.
Fantom: Get away from--!
Antylamon's axe neatly slices through the unprotected cord, and the Doody-Head explodes.
MegaGargomon: Lookin' sharp, bro.
Antylamon: LEAVE ME ALONE!
Izzy: This isn't going particularly well... every time something is destroyed, something new appears to take its place...
The private comes running up again.
Private: Sir! Orders have come through from upstairs, sir!
General Confusion: You mean...?
Private: Yes, sir. We must initiate... the plan.
General Confusion: If that is the way that the winds blow. Men! Prepare to unleash... OPERATION: HUX+4873!
As the soldiers scramble, Yamaki speaks into a headset microphone, directly communicating with the Digimon.
Yamaki: Kids, fall back! The military is preparing to use their secret weapon!
Justimon: Lo! The forces of good rally! TA-RAA!
Sakuyamon: Let's just move back, 'kay?
The Digimon move back behind the military barricade, as soldiers in Haz-Mat suits, carrying ten-foot poles with hooks on the ends, come forward.
The Fantom watches them from above.
Fantom: What are you doing NOW? Can't you just let us be? It would all be over so easily if you did...
The soldiers go to either side of the large armoured truck, which is angled so that it's rear doors are pointed at the chaos. Holding the poles at the ends, they lift them up, and lock the hooks into the bolts holding the door of the truck shut.
General Confusion: NOW!
The men tug the poles, and the blots come undone. They drop the poles, and run backwards, leaping behind the barricade, as the doors of the truck burst open... and something stirs within it.
A darkened outline appears from inside the truck, stepping out into the light.
Bill Cosby: Y'seeee, the D-Reaperrrr iiiiis a lot like Jell-Ooooo puddingggg.
The D-Reaper shudders and shrieks.
Fantom: What IS this foolishness?
A Horn Striker leaps out the chaos and bounds forward, coming to halt in front of Mr. Cosby and snarling profusely in his face.
Mr. Cosby calmly wipes away the spit, and reaches into his pocket.
Bill Cosby: Son, you need to relax. Here, have a puddin' pop.
He extends his arm, and hands the Horn Striker a pudding pop. It takes it, looks at it, then sits down, legs crossed, and happily starts to eat it.
Cosby waves at the army, who all cower in terror.
The Fantom vaults down, and lands smartly between Cosby and the Horn Striker.
Fantom: You keep out of this, old man! I didn't want any interference!
Bill Cosby: You're stressed, son. You knowwww what youuuuu need?
The Fantom swats the approaching pudding pop out of Cosby's hand with his cane.
Fantom: You really think you can trick me into removing my mask like that?
Bill Cosby: Couldn't hurt! Huhhuhhuhhuh.
The Fantom turns to the Horn Striker.
Fantom: And YOU! Stop eating that!
The Fantom flicks his wrist, and his cane telescopes out into a staff. He swings it around, and knocks the pudding pop out of the Horn Striker's hand. It splatters on the ground.
The Horn Striker looks down at it sadly, and disappears back into the chaos.
D-Reaper: You never let us do ANYTHING!
Bill Cosby: Y'seeeee, parentinnnng is a lot like driving a bussss. You gotta be in controllll all the tiiiime, and know when things have to stoppp... and if an armed gunman gets invollllved, you give him a puddin' pop.
The Fantom angrily points his cane at Cosby.
Gallantmon: I can't take this any more!
Jeri: Takato, don't...!
Gallantmon: SHIELD OF THE JUST!
Gallantmon's shield glows, and the energy beam lances out from it, ripping through the air, screaming towards the Fantom.
The Fantom vaults out of the way just in time, and the beam smashes into the D-Reaper, which screams.
Bill Cosby: Y'know what's good for that?
The Fantom spins around, and his cane catches Cosby in the stomach, hurling him into the chaos, where he disappears.
D-Reaper: Nngh... chaos... pudding... glorious... fleshbags...
Fantom: Shut UP!
General Confusion: My GOD... the comedy stylings of Bill Cosby had no effect! What kind of monster IS this?
Tentomon: I resent the use of the term "monster" as a bad thing, bub.
Izzy observes the Fantom, as he furiously adjusts his hat and cloak.
Izzy: He looks like he's losing control... and I don't mean of the D-Reaper...
The Fantom jerks his head around and stares back at Izzy.
Fantom: What are YOU looking at?
Angrily, the Fantom gestures again, but nothing happens. He tries again, with the same result.
Fantom: Open! I command it!
D-Reaper: Bite me.
The army, the Digimon and everyone else gasps, as the Fantom steps back, aghast.
D-Reaper: You heard.
Fantom: No... no, this can't BE! This wasn't supposed to happen! HOW?!
Izzy: I don't think I like the looks of this...
D-Reaper: You don't give us any respect! You never take us anywhere nice!
Fantom: Bah! What use is that to you? You're just a... BLOB!
A lash of chaos whips out and sends the Fantom hurtling through the air. He crashes down right in the middle of the crowd of military men, Tamers, and all the rest.
D-Reaper: Glorious... GLORIOUS... CHAAAOSSSSS!!
The D-Reaper surges once more, and its chaos begins to spread outward, slowly.
D-Reaper: All shall become one with the great void! SUCCUMB NOW!
Izzy turns to the Fantom, as he groans and lies on the ground.
Fantom: Wasn't... supposed... to... be... like this...!
The chaos gurgles towards them as the military runs around in a panic.
Izzy: This is YOUR fault!
Izzy: Who ARE YOU?!
Izzy grabs the Fantom's mask by the sides... and prepares to pull!
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TO BE CONTINUED!
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It's the final instalment of "Reap What You Sow!" The D-Reaper is thinking for itself again, and that means that it's going to take the team-up of the Tamers and the Fantom to stop it! But before that can happen - they're going to have to uncover the face beneath the villain's mask! Get ready for:
"DON'T FEAR D-REAPER!"
Because I came up with that and the Bill Cosby thing FIRST, dammit!
And incidentally... I promise, it's NOT Jeff Nimoy!
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SUPER FUN HAPPY POLL!
WOULD YOU BUY A CHARLENE T-SHIRT?
I've been toying with the idea of making something to sell on my website for a while now, and the idea won't go away. Recently, I was shown a website that'll make things like T-Shirts for you, and the idea is growing stronger - but I need to find out if it would be worth it. So, what say you? Would you buy a T-Shirt bearing the image of one of my characters? Like, Charlene, the Censors, CEO Vader, the cantaloupes, the Fantoms, etc? If you would, say so in your review, or e-mail me at firstname.lastname@example.org
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