The scene reopens in the bar. Chris leans on it, standing by Sora, who’s
just trying to order a drink and get
the hell away from there. A large number of the other audience members are
there, too, drinking and talking.

Chris: So, how do you think the first part went, huh?

Sora: Please, could you not talk to me?

Chris: Aw, come on! I’m just askin’...

Sora looks at Leomon behind the bar with pleading eyes and mouths “Get him
away from me!” Leomon

Chris: Fine, ignore me if you want, but you’re presenting an award with me

Sora: NOOO!

Chris: *grins* That got your attention.

Chris finishes his drink and heads back out, bumping into Myotismon on the

Myotismon: Would you watch where you’re going?

Chris looks up at him to see he was in the middle of reapplying his
lipstick, and he’s smeared it across his

Chris: Err... sorry. You’ve... uh... got a little something, there...

Piedmon: Oh, let me get that...

Piedmon pulls out his magic hankie and licks it, and starts wiping Myotismon
’s face.

Myotismon: Ahh, get off!

Chris shakes his head and goes on his way. As he walks, a Bakemon’s voice
comes over a loudspeaker,
telling the other guests to get back to the auditorium.

Chris: Here goes nothing...

Chris walks through the backstage door, and weaves through the obstacle
course of pulleys, ropes and
machinery. He peeps around the curtain, and sees the audience have taken
their seats. The Digimon theme
starts playing, as Chris heads out to the lectern.

Chris: Welcome back to:


Chris: And now we’re looking at:


Chris: This section is much like the previous one, except we’re taking an 02
perspective on it. As you all
know, the questions are much the same. So, let’s begin with:


Chris: To present this award, I’d like you all to welcome back the two
mainstays of the DigiDestined - TK
and Kari!

“Puppy Love” plays again as TK and Kari come in from opposite sides of the
stage, and meet in the middle,
kissing on the cheek, as Chris goes backstage.

TK: Nice to be back.

Kari: It seems there may have been a little confusion over this category...
it’s sort of too late to clarify now,
but we may as well... you were allowed to vote for Ken, and you could have
voted for either me or TK, too.
But, that makes no difference now, so, TK?

TK: The votes fell like this:

2 - Yolei
2 - Willis
2 - Michael
3 - TK
4 - Davis
5 - Ken
6 - Cody

Kari: Yes, folks - in an amazing turn of events, CODY swooped in at the last
minute to pick up the award
for favourite DigiDestined! C’mon up here!

Cody, in a little tux, jumps out of his seat, and runs up to the stage,
gleefully accepting his Digi-Award.

Cody: Wow! Thank, everybody! I thought for SURE Ken would win this one!

Ken, sitting in the audience (still possessed of his ‘Digimon Emperor’
persona, by the way), mutters silently
to himself. Something about bombs.

Cody: It’s nice to know that you all care, even if my Digimon are lacking in
originality, and my voice nags
away at your brain like a virus.

The audience applauds as Cody takes his seat.

Kari: Not ONE vote... what’s wrong with me? I got votes for 01.. and I wear
pink spandex now! Come on!

Chris: *walks out* Didn’t I warn you about that spandex?

Kari: *grumbles*

TK: You sure do make a lot of people grumble, Chris...

Chris: I like the word. It’s fun to type. TK and Kari, everybody!

“Puppy Love” plays again, and TK takes a fuming Kari offstage, while the
audience applauds.


Chris: It’s deja vu all over again. For this familiar award, put your hands
together for Davis!

“She’s Something Else” plays, as Davis walks up to the lectern and shakes
Chris’s hand.

Davis: What song’s that?

Chris: Erm... well, I’m not sure I got the title right... it’s the one that
goes: “There goes that girl again, she
shuns my lookin’ since I don’t know when, she don’t notice me, when I pass,
she goes with other guys from
out of my class...” ...uh... what’s the next bit... uhm... something,
something... “she shuns my lookin’ man -
she’s somethin’ else.” Audience, you know the one I mean, right?

Davis wipes a tear away.

Davis: *sniff* Yeah, I know it. That’s pretty damn accurate.

Chris: I’ll leave you to it...

Chris edges away from Davis and ducks backstage.

Davis: *sniff* The votes for Most Popular Rookie Digimon were:

1 - Gatomon
1 - Betamon
2 - Armadillomon
3 - Wormmon
5 - Hawkmon
9 - Veemon

An interesting fan comment:

“Gatomon... despite the fact that she is neither new, nor a rookie.” - Tech
Weaver Mask

Chris: (v/o) If you KNEW that, WHY’D YOU PICK HER?!

Davis: Calm down, man. Veemon, buddy, c’mon up here!

Veemon bounds up to the stage and happily takes his Digi from Davis. He hops
onto the lectern.

Veemon: I just knew I had this one in the bag! MY voice isn’t annoying!

Chris: *walks out* That’d be a matter of opinion.

Veemon: *growls* Veemon, armour digivolve to...!

Chris: *waves his hands* Ack! No, no! Not MY opinion!

Veemon: ...oh, okay. Well, thanks everyone!

Veemon hops off the stage and retakes his seat.

Chris: Nice working with ya, Davis. Regardless of the fact that I can just
barely write your character, as I’ve
not seen 02.

Davis: Ha! You Irish people suck!

Chris smacks Davis over the head.

Chris: Care to repeat that?

Davis: No, sir. Sorry, sir.

Chris: That’s better. Davis, everyone!

The audience claps as Davis leaves the stage, rubbing his head. “She’s
Something Else” starts playing. Chris
signals for the Bakemon to turn the sound up to, mask Davis’s sobbing.

Chris: *sigh*


Chris: A slightly different category this time around, for Armour Digimon,
the new breed from 02. To
present this award, please, make some noise for everybody’s favourite
oversexed pre-teen, Yolei!

Yolei enters, stage right, with “It’s Rainin’ Men” playing. She pokes Chris
in the eye when she reaches the

Chris: Ow! I’m getting mighty sick of being physically assaulted over

Chris staggers blindly backstage.

Yolei: Hi, everyone - especially all you guys in the audience! *grin*

Yolei gives the audience a twirl, showing off her ankle-length purple gown.
The male members of the
audience woof and holler. A few *thwap*s later and they are silent.

Yolei: The votes for Most Popular Armour Digimon were:

1 - Digmon
1 - Halsemon
1 - Pegasusmon
2 - Nefertimon
2 - Shurimon
4 - Raidramon
9 - Flamedramon

The fans said:

“Flamedramon (Ironic... I HATE Davis.”) -

“Most people would say Flamedramon or Magnamon. Me, however, I’d have to say
Shurimon, cause he just
kicks.” - Timestones.

Veemon: Yess! Woo-hoo! I RULE! Veemon, armour digivolve to... Flamedramon!
The Fire of Courage!

One of Flamedramon’s blades “accidentally” pokes Fenix in the eye as he
walks towards the stage, and Fenix
runs out of the amphitheatre, screaming.

Chris: (v/o) Teach him to call *me* a Paddycup...

Flamedramon takes his award from Yolei.

Flamedramon: Who’s laughing now? They’re both mine! MINE, I tell you!

Chris: *walks out* I’d push you offstage, but I don’t want to impale myself
on that stuff you call armour.
So, scoot.

Flamedramon: Just once more...

Chris: Oh, okay.

Flamedramon: MINE, I TELL YOU! I RULE!

Chris: Okay, time’s up.

Flamedramon takes his seat.

Yolei: Hi Ken!!

Yolei waves frantically to Ken, out in the audience, who just coughs and
looks the other way, pretending he
doesn’t see her. Yolei grimaces.

Chris: Tell you what... why don’t you just go on down there and talk to

Yolei rushes offstage.

Chris: *mutters* And good riddance. Underhanded, I know, but it was that, or
I woulda had to whack her,
and I’m not some kind of woman-beater, you know.

Chris looks at Sora quickly to see how she reacted to that. She’s asleep in
her seat.

Chris: ...damn.


Chris: For this award, I had to call on two guys I knew could be *relied* on
to do a good job! Make some
noise for Joe and Cody!

The audience groans at Chris’s unfunny wordplay, and claps. Joe and Cody
enter from opposite sides of the
stage, with “Lean On Me” playing. They meet in the middle and shake hands.

Joe: Hey, you actually picked good music this time!

Chris: I dunno, I thought “It’s Rainin’ Men” wasn’t bad...

Yolei’s shoe flies in from the audience and nails Chris on the forehead,
knocking him backstage.

Cody: That looked kinda sore...

Yolei: *yells from audience* More where that came from!

Chris: (v/o) She might have to be restrained for some of the later awards...

Joe: Well, let’s get this one out of the way first.

Cody: The votes for favourite episode weren’t nearly as wide-spread for this

1 - The Storm of Friendship
1 - The three-part Viral MetalGreymon story
1 - The Emperor’s New Home
1 - Brave Evolution, X-Veemon (Ghostyhead voted for this, regardless of the
fact she ain’t seen it... what
are ya gonna do?)
2 - Ken’s Secret
3 - Iron Vegiemon
8 - His Master’s Voice

Joe: The fans DO like their Takari hints! TK, Kari, you guys were the stars
of this ep, so you get the awards!
C’mon up here!

TK and Kari go up to the stage, and Joe gives TK his award, while Cody gives
Kari hers.

TK: *holds up his Digi* The relationship with the most tangible evidence!

Kari: Yes, thanks everyone. I can’t wait to see how you all voted in the
‘Favourite Relationship’ category.

Chris: *walks out* That’s a little way off yet... but don’t worry, there’s
plenty to keep you all entertained
until then!

Kari: That’s if you consider what you write entertaining. Hell, that’s if
what you write even classifies as

Chris: Don’t get me started on the spandex, you bowl-cutted, camera-wearing,
hot-pants lovin’

TK holds Kari back. Joe and Cody go to help him, and together, they force
her offstage.

Chris: Weren’t they great, folks?

The audience applauds, there’s a *whack* noise, and Joe screams like a girl.


Chris: To do this award, say hello again to your favourite 01 couple - Tai
and Sora!

Tai and Sora come in from opposite sides of the stage. “You’re The One That
I Want” is playing again.

Tai: I thought I warned you about that!

Chris: Dammit, he must have got the disc out of his mouth...

Chris goes backstage.



Sora: That’s better. Tai?

Tai: Thanks, Sora. The votes for Worst Episode were as follows:

1 - Iron Vegiemon
3 - Enter Flamedramon
3 - The Good, the Bad and the Digi
3 - Family Picnic

Geez! A three-way tie! Well... let’s see here... Flamedramon, you first!

Flamedramon: THREE! HA! *runs up to stage*

Tai: Now, you do realise this is because people *didn’t* like the

Flamedramon stares at his Digi.

Flamedramon: Ooohh... shiny! Me want!

Tai: Uh... yeah.

Tai hands Flamedramon his Digi.

Tai: Next... well, Sora, since “The Good, the Bad and the Digi” was your
showcase episode, I guess you
should get this one!

Tai hands Sora her Digi.

Sora: *voice dripping with sarcasm* Why, thank you Tai. I am overwhelmed.
Really, I am.

Tai: Don’t take it out on me!

Sora: Typical of you, always absolving your self...

Tai: But I didn’t DO anything!

Backstage, Chris rubs his hands.

Chris: I do so love a lover’s spat... hee, hee, hee... It’s GOOD to BE the

Tai: *mutters* And finally, Mimi and Yolei, you get the awards for “Family

Mimi and Yolei come up and accept their awards.

Mimi: I can understand why I get one, as that was my episode... but why

Chris: *walks out* Ohh, it was just something she thought about in the

Mimi: What?

Chris: I told you, you’ll find out later. *grin*

Mimi scratches her head, and all those with awards leave the stage,
including Sora.

Chris: Trouble with the little woman, Tai?

Tai: Back off, you freak. I’m warning you, she’s mine.

Chris: Don’t forget who’s writing this, buster.

Tai vanishes into thin air.

Chris: I can DO stuff, capice?

Tai reappears in his seat.

Tai: Yes, sir.


Chris: For this one, get on your feet - ‘cause he’s so tiny, you wont see
him, otherwise - for Veemon!

Flamedramon de-digivolves back to Veemon, and goes up on stage.

Chris: Before I go, I just have to mention again that I’ve not seen 01, so
if these quotes aren’t correct in any
way, it’s the voter’s fault, because they didn’t type it correctly in their
ballot. ‘kay? ‘kay. *goes backstage*

Veemon: Hi, everybody! I’m on my own, ‘cause, as I’ve already proved here
tonight - I RULE! You all
voted for your favourite quotes like this:

1 - Anything said by Ken in Episode 8
1 - “Let’s go raid the cafeteria!” - Gatomon
1 - Anything involving Donkey Madness
1 - “Flamedramon! The Fire of Courage!” - Flamedramon
1 - “The fish market’s calling my name... Gatomon....” - Gatomon
1 - “Get off! You’re crushing my brownies!” - Izzy
1 - “Davis is a jerk.” - Yolei, “The Samurai of Sincerity.”
1 - Any instance of Davis mispronouncing TK’s name
1 - “I care for you too, TK” - Kari, “His Master’s Voice.”
2 - “Let’s get that evil cute guy!” - Yolei
3 - “Kari, I care too much about you to let them take you without a
fight!” - TK, “His Master’s Voice.”

You DO love your Takari, don’t you, kids? TK, get on up here!

TK goes on stage, and takes his award from Veemon.

TK: Boy, don’t you fans think things besides relationships? Well, anyway,
thanks for voting for me! ‘bout
time I got some good lines, after 01!

Veemon: ‘kay, that’s great, but you’re blocking the audience’s view of me.

Chris: *walks out* Congrats, TK. On the award, that is - I don’t envy you
having Kari.

Chris ducks a few seconds before Kari’s shoe comes flying past.

Chris: Nyah-ha! TK and Veemon, everyone!

The audience claps as both TK and Veemon retake their seats.


Chris: Who better to do the award for Worst Quote than two guys with voices
who’d want to make you put
your head in an oven? Give it up for Hawkmon and Armadillomon!

The two Digimon walk in from either side of the stage, as “Everybody’s
Talking At Me” plays.

Hawkmon: Is that song supposed to be a joke about our voices?

Chris: Hell, no, I just like the song. I don’t need a song to make fun of
your voices.

Armadillomon: We could hurt you quite badly, you know.

Chris: I know. That’s why I’m going. *goes backstage*

Hawkmon: *mutters* Salutations, my good people! My hard-shelled compatriot
and I come before you
tonight to present the award for Worst Quote!

Armadillomon: The votes looked like this:

1 - “Halsemon! The Wings of Love!” - Halsemon
1 - “Need a pinch?”
1 - “Would you like to walk to school with us? It’ll take exactly 12.3
minutes - and that’s if there’s no
wind!” - Yolei, “Enter Flamedramon”
1 - “Prune Juice!”
1 - “I love jigsaw puzzles!” - Andromon
1 - The bad jokes in general
2 - The line from Yolei’s Mimi Fantasy

Hawkmon: Not too many votes here... ah, well. Yolei, come on up here!

Yolei comes up and takes her award grudgingly from Armadillomon. She doesn’t
say anything.

Mimi: *whispers to self* ...Mimi... Fantasy...?

Yolei grumbles and takes her seat.

Chris: *walks out* Don’t worry, Mimi! The details will become clear!

Chris throws Yolei back her shoe.

Chris: Yer probably gonna want that, so you can run away later. And how
‘bout a big hand for
Armadillomon and Hawkmon, folks? Preferably a hand that’s big enough to
cover both their mouths.

Hawkmon kicks Chris in the shins, and Armadillomon bites his foot.

Chris: Ow! Get off the stage, ya little irritants!

The audience applauds, louder than usual, as the two Digimon leave.


Chris: *talking with a Bakemon on a cell phone* Yes... yes, I can understand
that... look, I don’t care if she
IS freaking out, she’s DOING the award! Get her out here! *to audience*
Seems that last award has had an
adverse affect on Mimi... but never fear, here she comes now!

A Bakemon forcibly pushes Mimi onto the stage. “Material Girl” starts
playing as she dusts herself off.

Chris: And with her, to present Funniest Quote, welcome back Izzy!

“The AOL Song” plays and Izzy enters stage right, waving to the audience.
Chris goes backstage, as they
cheek-kiss at the lectern.

Mimi: *cough* Hi... everyone. It’s... uh... it’s... nice to... be here.

Izzy: I’ll handle this. The votes for Funniest Quote came in like this:

1 - Anything involving Donkey Madness.
1 - “Davis, if *I* was in trouble, you’d risk your life to save me,
right?” - Flamedramon - “Uh... maybe...” -
Davis - “MAYBE?!” - Flamedramon, then de-digivolves back to Veemon.
1 - “What the heck, I got nine lives...” - Gatomon
1 - “You ATE Upamon?” - Yolei
1 - “I’m one of the guys now!” - Davis - “Davis, if you’re one of the guys
now, does that mean you used to
be one of the girls?” - Veemon
1 - “I thought cats always landed on their feet!” - Patamon - “Oh, shut
up.” - Gatomon
1 - “Get off! You’re crushing my brownies!” - Izzy
1 - “I promise I wont tell my parents about Davis - if you take me on a date
Friday night!” - Jun, to Matt
1 - “He forget how to spell TK!” - Cody
1 - Any time Davis gushes over Kari
1 - “Time to scrap you, you rust bucket!” (fires Gold Rush at Andromon, but
it just drips down his armour)
“Uhh... I was just kidding about that rust bucket thing...” - Digmon
1 - “I bet she had a lot of bad things to say about me too - like how I bite
my toenails and spit them out onto
the floor, or how I sucked my thumb until about a month ago, or like how I
wet the bed every other
Thursday - but it’s laundry day, so it’s okay...” - Davis

Huh! Well, would you look at that!

Mimi: There’s no winner!

Chris: *walks out* Ohh, these quote sections are SO outta here next time...
well, I’m not wasting page time
giving all these guys awards... lets just call it a day for this one. Sorry
folks! No-one won! You two were
great, anyway. Mimi and Izzy, ladies and gents!

Izzy guides the still-rather-dazed Mimi offstage and back to her seat.

Chris: She’s gonna lose it in two awards’ time...


Chris: Well, for this one, let’s welcome a little guy with a heart as big as
this award - it’s Wormmon!

Wormmon crawls on stage, as “Ugly Bug Ball” plays again.

Wormmon: *sniff* Ugly?

Chris: I’ve had this out with Tentomon, Wormy, seriously, it’s nothing
personal. Just you try and find me
better bug-related music. I’ll leave you to it.

Chris lifts Wormmon up and puts him on the lectern, then goes backstage.

Wormmon: He... hello everybody. It’s really nice to be here, and I’m happy
that Chris asked me to present
this award, ‘cause it’s really important.


Wormmon: Yes, sir.

As Wormmon fumbles for the card with the votes, all the female members of
the audience *thwap* Ken for
being so mean.

Ken: Ack!

Wormmon: Okay, here we are. The votes were:

1 - Raidramon digivolves for the first time (“The Storm of Friendship”)
1 - Ken’s flashback to the events that led up to him becoming the Digimon
1 - Seeing Airdramon and Ebiramon used
1 - Davis being tortured (“Ken’s Secret”)
1 - Gomamon digivolving again
1 - Angemon returning
1 - Viral MetalGreymon kicking some ass
1 - Tortamon relieves himself
1 - X-Veemon and Stingmon Jogress/DNA digivolve
1 - Matt’s band plays
1 - Matt’s expression after getting stuck going out with Jun
5 - Kari says “I care for you too, TK” (“His Master’s Voice”)

Goodness me! You people REALLY love that Takari thing, don’t you? Kari, if
you’d like to come up...?

Kari comes up on stage and accepts her Digi.

Chris: (v/o) Guess that goes to show how popular you can be if you just
throw it around a little bit, eh?

Kari, wielding her Digi like a club, advances towards Chris, who is just
behind the curtain leading backstage.

Chris: ...oh crap.

TK and Tai run up on stage and try to restrain Kari. Tai receives a whack on
the head from the Digi, and
falls off the stage, while TK just manages to get her under control and get
her away from there.

Chris: *peeps out* Note to self... it’s always the quiet ones... so,
Wormmon, I know I’m not going to piss
you off. Wormmon, everyone!

Chris lifts Wormmon off the lectern, and he crawls back to his seat, as the
audience applauds.


Chris mops his brow with a handkerchief.

Chris: Geez, keeping this pace up is killing me. To slow things down for a
minute... I’d like to read you
some poetry I wrote.

Chris pulls a small piece of paper out of his pocket and clears his throat.

Chris: *ahem* The Walrus and the Digimon, by Chris McFeely

“The time has come,” Devimon said,
“To talk of many things,
Of tags and crests, and crotch demons,
And Ken and his Black Rings.”

*ZONK!* Chris gets knocked off his feet when Yolei’s other shoe connects
with his forehead.

Chris: Philistines! You’re all philistines! Gah! I don’t know why I bother!
Put your uncultured hands
together for Cody and Davis, you mental peons!

Chris storms off backstage as Cody and Davis enter, stage left and right,
respectively, with “Lean On Me”
and “She’s Something Else” playing in turn.

Cody: Hello again, everybody. It’s nice to be back.

Davis: Why am I stuck with this crummy award? I’m really important, I
shouldn’t be presenting the bad

Cody: I think just about everyone winds up presenting one of the bad awards

Davis: Yeah, well, I don’t have to like it. Let’s get this over with. The
votes for Worst Moment were:

1 - Seeing Frigimon again
1 - Anything with Armadillomon’s annoying voice
1 - Anything featuring Davis
1 - Anything with Jun

Geez, people, can’t you be more specific?

1 - Seeing Agumon again
1 - Michael asking Yolei out before Izzy
1 - The Roachmon Brothers
1 - The bad dubbing when Ken’s parents find out he’s gone
1 - Agumon being under Ken’s control
6 - Yolei’s Mimi Fantasy

Chris: (v/o) ROLL V.T.!

The screen descends from the ceiling again, for the first time since the
beginning of the night, and Yolei’s
Mimi Fantasy from “Family Picnic” is screened. The audience sits in silence.

Davis: Uhm... uh... geez... um...

Cody: Yolei... do you... uhm... want to come up here?

Davis: And... uh... Mimi too?

Yolei stomps her way up to the stage, and snatches her award from Davis.
Mimi staggers up, supported by
Joe. They both look very pale.

Mimi: I... uhm... well, that’s... uh... nice...

Yolei: I am NOT gay!

Chris: *walks out* But seriously, let’s look at this... you have this dream
about Mimi... and then, it was only
after that, that the viewers got to see the “boy-crazy” side of you for the
first time. I’m sorry, but that reeks
of denial.

Mimi weakly takes her award from Cody and looks at Yolei. Yolei raises her


Mimi leaps at Yolei, brandishing her award as a weapon, and knocking the
girl off her feet. Yolei kicks the
award out of Mimi’s hand, at the situation degenerates into a hair-pulling

Chris: *sighs* Great, great... just give the Mimiyako fans something *more*
to work with...

The men in the audience whoop and holler again, particularly Raptor, who
receives a swift *thwap* from

Chris: Can we get a clean-up crew in here?

Two Bakemon float in and get in between Mimi and Yolei.

Raptor: Lucky...

The Bakemon separate Mimi and Yolei and drag them offstage. Davis and Cody
scratch their heads.

Davis: Uhm... I think... we’re just gonna... go, now.

Cody: ...yeah.

Chris: Wouldn’t blame you. But I need you back here for the next section,

Davis: Yeah, yeah.

Chris: Davis and Cody, everyone!

The guys’ respective music plays as they leave.


Chris: Ah, Christ... I only get her off the stage, and she’s got to come
back on... audience, welcome back

“It’s Rainin’ Men” plays again as Yolei enters, a scowl on her face.

Chris: Aw, lighten up, you’ll like this one, I promise. And, to present with

Chris notices excessive movement in the audience.

Chris: Hey! What’s going on down there?

Susan: I’m just going to the bathroom.

Chris: Oh, right. Well, hurry back.

Susan sprints out of the amphitheatre.

Chris: ...hrmn, you know, this could be a good thing. To present with Yolei,
please welcome... Ken!

Yolei: Woo-HOO!

Ken: Wha-at?! You didn’t tell me I was presenting with HER!

Chris: Them’s the breaks. Now get out here - you don’t have anything else to
do tonight, and I *know*
you’d hate to miss your moment on stage. *grin*

Ken grumbles and gets up on stage, with “Tainted Love” playing. He reaches
the lectern, as Chris goes
backstage, and Yolei attempts to kiss him. He pulls back from her.

Ken: Don’t TOUCH me.

Yolei: You’re so cute when you’re grumpy.

Ken: Ack!

Chris: (v/o) Do the award!

Ken: The sooner the better. The votes for Most Popular Relationship were:

3 - Miyaken
16 - Takari

Short and sweet, and inherently sensible.

Yolei: Looks like we were just pipped to the post, Kenny.

Ken wraps his cape around himself and hisses.

Ken: Get away from me, woman.

Yolei: TK and Kari, you’re up, yet again!

TK and Kari come up to the stage. Kari takes her award from Yolei, while Ken
gives TK his.

Kari: I *knew* we’d win this one! I threw in that “I care about you too”
line to make sure!

TK: ...what?

Kari: Er... no... I mean...

TK: You... what? ...with the line?

Kari: No, TK, wait, let me explain...

Kari runs after TK as he leaves the stage. Ken snickers.

Ken: I do so love a happy ending.

Ken turns, and realises that Yolei is hovering an inch in front of his face.

Ken: ACK! Don’t DO that!

Yolei pinches Ken’s cheek and waggles it.

Yolei: cute!

Ken swats her hand away.

Ken: Chris, for the love of GOD, will you get OUT here?!

Chris: *walks out* Yes, well, I think that’s enough of that...

Yolei glares at Chris.

Chris: Eek!

Susan: Hey, I’m back... what’d I mi- KEN!

Ken shrieks like a little fairy and jumps into Yolei’s arms.

Ken: Keep her away! She’s worse than *you*!

Yolei: He’s mine!

Yolei carries Ken offstage, as Susan chases after them.

Chris: This could be another running gag...


Chris: To handle the final category for this section, I’d like you all to
welcome back Matt, ladies and gents!

Matt enters, waving, with The Blues playing.

Chris: And to present with him - Jun!

Matt: AUGH!

Jun appears, with “Crazy” playing.

Jun: Hi everyone! HI MATT!

Matt: *hiding behind the lectern* Dammit!

Jun: When Chris told me who I’d be presenting with, there was no way I could
say no!

Matt: It would have been *nice* if Chris had told *me* who *I* was
presenting with...

Chris: Heh, yeah, right. *goes backstage*

Jun grabs onto Matt’s arm and puts her head on his shoulder.

Jun: You want to read the votes, Matty, or will I?

Matt: I’ll do it... anything to hurry this UP! The votes for Worst
Relationship were:

1 - Mimi and Willis (I don’t think this even has a name - they haven’t even
MET! How could anyone think
this EXISTS? I don’t even know if the voter was being serious.)
1 - Takari
2 - Kekari
2 - Kensuke
3 - Dakari
9 - Miyaken

The fans had some things to say about THIS one...

“Miyaken, since Ken doesn’t seem to give a rat’s ass about Yolei.” -

“Kekari. Little Miss Perfect Sweetness and Light doesn’t need another guy to
deal with, thank you very
much.” - Susan

“Yolei and Ken...uhhh...” -

“Kensuke. Although, now I write it, I’m not sure why...” - Ghostyhead

“Oh God... people are gonna kill me... Miyaken ::runs away so she don’t get
Thwapped by misc. owned
Digimon items::” - AlyaKitty

Yolei runs out onto the stage, still carrying Ken. They both hide behind the
lectern. Susan appears.

Susan: Which way’d she take him?

Chris: *walks out and points to the opposite backstage entrance* They went
that-a way.

Susan darts off, and Ken emerges.

Ken: Get your grubby hands OFF me, you hyperactive harlot!

Yolei: I know you love me.

Ken: Whatever. At least THEY have some sense. *points to audience*

Ken takes his award from Jun, and Matt hands Yolei hers.

Ken: Come near me again, woman, and I will shove this in a very unpleasant

Yolei: You say the sweetest things!

Ken: Yes, knowing you, you’d probably enjoy that...

Chris: WOAH-kay, let’s just leave it there! This isn’t one of THOSE fics.

Ken darts away when Yolei looks around, and retakes his seat in the
audience. Yolei follows.

Chris: And of course, let’s hear it for Matt and Jun!

The audience claps as Matt and Jun walk off-stage. Well, actually, it’s more
like Matt sort of drags Jun,
who’s still hanging on his arm, back down into the audience.

The Digimon Theme starts to play.

Chris: And, once again, we come to the end of a section! It’s time to get a
drink, have a snack, or go and see
if Fenix’s eye is any better... but be back for our next section when we’ll
be looking at the psychiatric ward
that is Alt.Fan.Digimon, and examining it’s fanfic series, the DigiWars!

The lights go out, and Chris walks offstage, as the audience files out of
the amphitheatre.